Heaven Sent

Coming Clean

It's been a few weeks since Beca started spending more time with her friends. She's learned that the more time she spends with them the easier it is to forget. Forget the pain. Forget the sadness. Forget well... everything. Jesse has managed to convince Beca to watch a two hour movie.
"Come on Beca it'll be fun I promise." Jesse said dragging Beca to the couch. "I'm sure you'll enjoy it."
"Jess I'd rather be beat by my mother again than watch a two hour movie." Beca said fully forgetting to use a filter.
"Wait... what do you mean by that?" Jesse carefully asked.
"Uh Nothing. Let's just sit down and watch the movie. Whatever I said isn't important." Beca quickly said while sitting on the couch and turning on the television.
"No Beca." Jesse said in a firm tone taking the remote and turning off the television. "This is serious. Is your mom beating you? How often does it occur?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about Jesse." Beca said going into a slight panic as her breathing quickened.
"You know it would make a lot of sense." Jesse said piecing it together. "You always tense whenever we touch you, you always wear pants and log sleeves, and some days you even come to school with half your face covered."
"Jesse can we please just not talk about this." Beca said as tears welled in her eyes. "I wasn't supposed to let anyone know. If she finds out it's gonna make her worse."
"Hey it's okay, calm down." Jesse said taking the girl in a hug. "I'm gonna help you get threw this. We can tell somebody."
"No because she'll find out." Beca sobbed into jesses shirt. "She'll make the beatings worse. I can't take that much Jess."
"That's exactly why we should tell someone. They can lock her up so she can never hurt you again." Jesse said rubbing soft circles on her back.
"But why do you even care? I'm just some worthless piece of shit that no one cares about. My moms right I'd be better off dead." Beca said crying even harder.
"I care because I love you. Your not worthless and your mother isn't right." Jesse said trying to comfort her.
"How do you know that Jess?" Beca said trying to dry her eyes.
"Because Love is louder." Jesse said simply. "Love is louder that hate. Love is louder that sadness. Love is louder than well anything."
"Love is louder..." Beca said quietly under her breath.
Beca suddenly stood up and walked over to her bag. She shuffled through some books until she came to the notebook. The only this she had written in it was What is my message?. Beca thought for a second before she wrote three simple words. LOVE IS LOUDER. Beca underlined it three time before putting it back in her bag.
"Thank you Jesse. You got her, her message." The redhead said under her breath outside his window.
"She's not in need of you currently. You shouldn't be here. You don't what him to catch you do you?" A deep voice sounded from behind her.
"Right... Sorry. Please don't tell him Clay. I just wanted to make sure." She said quietly.
"My lips are sealed. Now let's go before we get caught." He said gently grabbing her wrist and pulling her away from the window.
"What was that?" Jesse asked referring to the notebook.
"It's a notebook. That's where I'm going to put all of my ideas. Whether it's about my message or songs." Beca said smiling softly.
"Message? What does that even mean?" Jesse asked slightly laughing.
"You'll see one day." Beca said winking. "Now who do we tell to stop my mother?"
"Well we could always tell my parents." Jesse suggested. "I mean my dad is a police officer."
      "Yeah Okay... we can tell him." Beca said as her breathing picked up. "But what if he can't do anything? My mom will know I told someone."
     "We can tell the group. I know for a fact that one of them with let you stay with them until we get it taken care of." Jesse said placing a hand on her shoulder only to feel her tense.
      "No, no, no, no. I can't tell more people. She'll, she'll do something bad." At this point Beca was on the brink of her first of many panic attacks.
      "What do I do?" Jesse started to panic seeing his friend in such a state.
      Beca felt like she was going to die. She couldn't breath properly. She was crying uncontrollably and felt like her tongue was swelling up. All the sudden she got light headed before everything went black.
      "Bec? Beca? Beca are you okay?" Jesse asked quietly once she started to wake up.
      "Yeah... I think so." Beca said rubbing her head. "Let's get the others together so I can tell them."
      "Are you sure? I mean you don't have to." Jesse said making sure she was okay.
      "Yeah. I want them to know. Is your dad home?" Beca asked slowly standing up. "I want to tell him now."
      "Yeah he's in the kitchen, let's go." Jesse said leading the way. "Hey dad, can we talk to you about something serious?"
     "Oh god your finally coming out as gay. It's okay son me and your mother still love you." His dad said almost immediately.
      "What? Dad I'm not gay. This is actually about Beca." Jesse said gesturing to said girl.
      "Oh... Alright. What's up Beca?" Mr. Swanson asked casually.
      "Um well you see... ah, my mother um... you know what never mind." Beca said dismissing the conversation.
      "No you said something about your mother. And the fact that your stuttering so much shows that your nervous." He said going into what Jesse calls 'cop mode'. "So Beca what's wrong?"
      "Uh well... since I was about seven I think she ah... she started hitting me." Beca said quietly.
      "And how often does this occur?" He asked grabbing a price of paper and scribbling something down.
      "Like daily I guess." Beca said awkwardly.
      "Okay... has this ever lead to you getting suicidal thoughts?" He questioned once more.
      "Yes." Beca said so quietly she could barely hear herself.
      "I'm sorry what was that?" He asked glancing up.
      "Yes." Beca said louder this time. "It has."
      "And have you ever acted upon these thoughts." He asked looking Beca straight in the eyes.
      "Um..." Beca looked between a very sober looking father and a very concerned friend. "Yes... twice."
      "Alright... I'm going to bring this information down to the station. Now Jesse I want you to call all your friends and invite them over for the night." His dad said collecting his things. "I want you to make sure Beca isn't left alone."
      "Yes sir." Jesse said grabbing the phone as he started to dial different numbers.
     "Thank you for telling me Beca." His dad said thankfully. "I'll see what I can do about getting you some therapy."
      "Thank you Mr. Swanson." Beca said quietly.
      "Alright everyone is on there way." Jesse said once he said bye to his dad.
      "Thanks for doing this Jess. It means a lot." Beca said giving the boy a hug.
"Hey, you know I'm always here for you." He said before they heard the door bell.
Jesse left Beca sitting on the couch to open the door. He was met with an angry Stacie.
"Where the hell is she? Why aren't you with her!" Stacie said pushing past him. "She could hurt herself!"
"I'm fine Stacie, really." Beca said giving a half hearted smile.
"There's our little girl." Stacie said crushing her in a hug. "Everything is gonna be okay."
"You know she still needs to breath right Stace?" Jesse asked light heartedly.
"Right. Sorry." Stacie said smiling sheepishly.
Soon there other friends arrived at his house. They watched a bunch of movies despite Becas protests. They later made milk shakes.
"Alright good news." Mr. Swanson said entering the household. "We just took one Shelia Mitchell down to the station."
"Really?" Becas head shot up at the news. Once she saw him nod she felt tears burning her eyes. "It's over? She can't hurt me anymore?"
"It's all over Becs." Stacie said giving the small girl a hug. "You can stay with me if you need to."
"I'm free." Beca said smiling. "Hell yeah!"
"Welcome to your new life." Jesse said dramatically. "Now how about we watch Remember the Titans."
"How about no." Beca said immediately. "How about instead we go to sleep. It's like two in the morning."
"I guess your right." Jesse said laughing.
They all got settled and turned off the lights. Most of them were already asleep except for Beca. She was still caught up on the fact that her mother was gone. She was going to be like a normal teenager.
"Look at that she's saved." Clay said happily. "Way to go on your first assignment."
"Thanks. I guess she doesn't need me anymore." The redhead said sadly.
"She wasn't supposed to need one in the first place." He said casually. "Now come on let's go."
"Just... give me a minute." She said quietly.
She silently watched Beca attempt to fall asleep. She could tell something was off but she couldn't tell what.
"You're still worthless even if she's gone." A voice sounded in Becas head.
"No one will ever love you once they know how truly broken you are." A different one said.
Becas head was filled with so many voices. She curled up in a ball and silently cried covering her ears wanting it to stop.
"Shut up." Beca whispered to herself. "Be quite. Let me sleep."
The redhead noticed the strange behavior. She started to worry for the small brunette.
"Hey, you coming? I think they're going to give you a new assignment." Clay said.
"But look. It looks like she's crying. I don't think I'm done here." She said pointing through the window.
"Huh. I guess your right." He said scratching the back of his neck. "But you're not sad about it are you? You don't want to move on."
"I really don't. Is that bad?" She asked quietly.
"A little. But you'll just have to wait. Something tells me that she's going to be assigned to angel." Clay said.
"You think?" The redhead asked hopefully.
"I know." He said walking away with her.