bnha x reader | fluff & angst

bereaved | hawks

pairing: keigo takami x fem!reader

warnings: character death (this isn't canon so no spoilers!!), mentions of blood

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It was all your fault.

Smoke filled the night sky as ashes fell down around you like snow. It was completely silent, almost as if the entire world stopped for this one moment. The sight around you was tragically peaceful. All civilians had been evacuated, leaving only you and the man clinging onto whatever life he had left. The buildings had stopped burning long before, leaving the odorous smell of smoke to linger in the air.

The atmosphere was tranquil, yet the sight before you was anything but that. The near lifeless body of the number two hero laid in front of you. His wings were tattered yet still fluttering softly, a clear sign that he was somehow still holding on. His hand was cold in yours, the tears rolling down your face onto his body being the last thing keeping him from letting go for good. Sobs wracked through your body at the sight, knowing deep down that this devastating sight will be the last that you'll see of him.

Your relationship with each other could only be described as playful. You were made aware of the hero's obvious crush on you early on, he never tried to hide it. Each time he asked, you turned him down, too afraid of the idea of getting involved with someone like him. Regardless, you couldn't help but fall for his boyish charms in the end.

If only you told him that.

Hawks was always so sure of himself. His confidence coming into this mission was enough to wash away your doubts for what was to come. You could've never guessed that it would turn this way. The plan was flawless, but you messed it up. Hawks always called you stubborn, yet he admired you for it. You never took no for an answer and always wanted to get your point across.

Maybe if you listened to him, just this once, he wouldn't be dying in your arms.

Maybe if you were able to hold your own, he wouldn't have had to sacrifice himself to save you.

Thoughts were running through your head of everything that you did wrong only moments earlier, your brain trying to process everything that was happening. In the midst of it all you felt a tiny movement coming from your hand. Slowly lifting your head, you peeked over to see Hawks squeezing your fingers, eyes struggling open to look at you. You would gasp if your throat wasn't so dry, but all you could do was gaze.

"L-Leave me here, kid."

Anger bubbled in your chest at those words. He always taught you to never give up, yet here he was, asking you to leave him to die.

"I can't do that, Hawks. As long as you're still breathing, there's still a chance that someone could help you."

Hawks opened his mouth to speak, instead turning his cheek to cough of blood over the pavement. The sight only worried you more, prompting you to move your arm under his back to try to get him up.

"Fuck...stop, that hurts." He winced in pain, cringing away from your touch as you set his head of mangled curls back on the ground. You let go of his hand, instead moving it to lightly touch the bruises littering all over his face.

"I gotta get this cleaned up for-"

"No. There's no point." His voice was only a faint whisper, yet firm and clear in his words.

"Get out of here, now. Please." The desperation in his words made your heart break even more, the clear signs of tears forming in his golden brown eyes. You've never seen him look so..defeated before. At this point you were becoming frustrated, knowing that time was running out for him.

"Hawks-"

"Go."

"I can't just-"

"Can't you listen to me for once?! Think with your head. By the time I even make it anywhere to get help, I'll be gone. The reinforcements aren't coming, I bet they don't even know where we are..."

His eyes closed for a brief second, not before you tapped his cheek to keep him up.

"No! We're partners. I can't leave you here."

"You can and you will." He used the last of his strength to move your hand away from him, trying his best to push you away. "You're only making this harder for me."

"Harder for you?! You're asking me to leave you, my partner, to die."

His features grew into a small smirk at your outburst as he slowly turned his head to look at you. "I knew you couldn't resist me." Even at a serious moment like this one, he couldn't help but make one last remark. If it was any other situation, you would probably smack him in annoyance. Instead, you chuckled with him, trying to ignore the bile bubbling in your throat at the thought of what was happening.

"Any more things you want to say before I go get help?"

All he could do was nod in response, his level of consciousness slowly fading away in his last moments. You haven't fully accepted that he was really about to be gone, so actually seeing his last breaths being taken right in front of you was an entirely different story. You scrambled for words, anything at all that you could say that would be right in this moment-

"I love you."

Those words that he uttered to you rattled your body, tears falling from your face as his body grew limper.

"I love you too, Keigo."

His face looked rather peaceful. As if he said all that he wanted to, and he left with the satisfaction of finally getting the words out. His frame was slack, chest still. All you could do was gaze at him, memories of all the times spent together rushing through your brain like a film. You realized that he was gone before he could even hear you say it. Regret filled your heart as you lifted yourself from the ground, turning around to stumble your way into the night. Making your way carefully over the rubble, you walked through the faintly lit path, the only thing on your mind was him. You refused to look back, afraid that the sight of his lifeless body will shatter your heart even more. Getting help for him wasn't an option anymore, the only thing left to do was to move forward.

You never got to say how you felt until his very last breath was taken, and even then you weren't even sure that he knew. He left this world, never fully realizing the type of impact he had on you. Every single moment with him slapped you in the face all at once. If you could go back in the past and change the way you acted, you would.

Sadly, the world didn't have a reset button.

Those three words that he expressed in his last moments played over and over in your mind. It would haunt you for the rest of your days, a never ending loop playing until it drove you insane. You knew in that moment that you would never meet another like him. You had just lost your other half, and a part of you has now died with him.