Remembering Sunday

Nixxie.

Blackness. I can feel the black. How is that even possible. It's like I'm swimming in it. But I can breath again. Each time I breath though, it's like my lungs shrivel. I'm scared to breath. It hurts far too much. Then his eyes. Brown, but they burn. Like they're actually alive. I swim away but I can't actually move.

"Help me! Please!" I try to scream but nothing comes out of my mouth. His hand is over my mouth and I can feel him pressing against me, holding me to him.

"Try to scream and I'll rip out your tongue baby, and I really enjoy your tongue." He says it like he's talking to an errant child. I feel like my eyes are bulging out of my head. I can't move and then his lips are on my cheek.

I scream out, closing my eyes and then there's a pain in my right side.

"Nixx? Phoenixx!" There are hands on me and when I open my eyes, there's Danny. He is so concerned, he looks like he's 30 something instead of 23. Behind him, a nurse comes running into the room; my dad behind her and the band behind him. There's the pain in my side again. I grip my side and cry out in pain. Danny removes his hands as if in surrender.

"Everyone, get out of here. Now." The nurse has mint green scrubs on and gently pushes me back down onto the bed. I watch as Danny leaves, like a sad puppy. The band takes one look at me and leaves with Danny. Teddy tried to get in but Dad stops him and shuts the door. I can see Teddy looking at me through the glass, he's angry. And scared.

"How are you feeling, sweetie?" Mint green asks me.

"I'm fine, I need to get out of here. Can I leave please?" I try to sit up and wince in pain.

"Hmm, I'll talk to Dr. Greene." I smile inwardly at the irony. "Would you like to see your guests one at a time?" She asks me, innocently. Like she didn't just kick all of them out of my room.

"I want to see them all, and then I want to get out of here. Please, Miss...?" I beg.

"Miss Dee." She exclaims, I just look at her. Seriously? Miss Dee, like Misty. I just can't handle it. I laugh but I cover it with a cough. Well, I thought I was covering it but in fact I can't laugh.

Once I catch my breath, I try again. "Miss Dee, I hate hospitals. Please don't make me stay here. Please. I'm begging you." I know my eyes are watering. I won't cry, I won't. "Also, can I see my friends and family please?"

"I'll talk to the doctor and we'll see but I make no promises, I'll ask your father to send some people in." She seems reluctant.

"Thank you." I say and try to rest against the pillows. She leaves and within a few minutes, everyone is in my room except my Dad.

"Oh, Nixx! You had me scared shitless!" Sandy exclaims and comes to sit beside me.

"So, can we talk about how you could've just died?" Teddy looks overly protective, and Sandy holds up her hand to ward him off.

"Teddy, you need to calm your tits. Like now." She says as if it's the most normal thing in the world. I can't help but smile.

"Seriously, it's not her fault." Bean speaks up from the other side of my bed. He puts his hand on my foot. And gently squeezes it.

"Beanie, you weirdo." I roll my eyes. He has a foot fetish. We all know it. I begin to laugh and end up coughing again. I need to sit up, Danny is on one side of me trying to help me sit up while Wolf is on the other.

"Easy sis." Danny says as I get up into a sitting position. He eyes me wearily, like I'm a toddler that's just learning to walk.

"Danny, I'm fine. Honestly." I give him my best smile and try to seem sincere. I look at the faces of my friends and my family. Teddy is in the corner with Sandy, she is trying to calm him down. She's so good at getting him under control. Wolf is at my right hand side, next to him is Holman, then J at the foot of my bed, Bean is on the other side of J, and Danny is all the way on my left. I look at J, he seems sad.

"You are going to be fine, Nixxie." Holman says. J punches his shoulder and I take a deep intake of breath and clutch my side. Spacing out. I close my eyes tightly and when I open them. He's here. At the foot of my bed. He has a pillow, walking towards me and getting closer and closer. I slink back into the bed, trying to get as far as I can from him. We're alone. NO! This isn't real! I clutch the sides of my head and continue to scold myself. I close my eyes tight again and I can feel the warm tears that run down my face.

Teddy is back by my side, Sandy is right behind him. Her hand on his shoulder. Dad and the Miss Dee are back.

"Daddy.." I cry, and reach out for him.

"Oh Phoenixx.." He reaches me and tries to hug me but I wince in pain. "Miss Dee and Dr. Greene say we can go home." His eyes are bloodshot, when was the last time that he slept? Oh god.

"Oh, thank god!" I exclaim and throw back the blankets, not realizing that I only had on a hospital gown. I clutch my side and try to get up from the left side of the bed, everyone shuffles back and away from me. Trying not to touch me. "Where are my clothes?" I ask as calmly as I can.

Miss Dee hands me a bag and points to the bathroom. I grab Sandy's hand and have her help me get dressed.

She doesn't try to conversate with me, and I know she's scared too.

"Sandy, stop it." She stops mid stride to the door. I am fully dressed now. Converse, jeans, bra and panties and my tank top. Everything except the accessories.

"Nixx, what do you want me to do?" She looks at the door longingly. Her voice sounds rough, like she's about to cry. I walk over to her, wincing everytime I put down my left foot. I grab her arm.

"Be here for me, I'm not going back to him. I can't, I won't. But I'm also not getting the police involved." I confide in her. "Sandy, you're going to have to trust that I will be okay. Okay?" I hug her tight and suppress my yelp when our bodies connect. She's crying. "I won't let him hurt you, or the guys. He won't get near you. Never." I tell her, confidently. "You're not going to be alone, ever. Understand?" She nods to me. "Good, now let's get out of here.."