𝐎𝐅𝐅𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄. kenma kozume x reader

part 24; wonderland

OK HI THIS IS THE AUTHOR

SO I PUBLISHED THE CHAPTER AFTER THE BREAKUP BUT NOT THE BREAKUP CHAPTER IM SO STUPID OMFG SORRY HAHA BUT THIS IS IT 

didn't they tell us don't rush into things? didn't you flash your green eyes at me? haven't you heard what becomes of curious minds? didn't it all seem new and exciting? i felt your arms twisting around me, i should've slept with one eye open at night. we found wonderland, you and i got lost in it, we pretended it could last forever. - taylor swift; wonderland. 

thank you for 1k+ reads :)

your POV:

This past month has been absolutely agonizing. With Kenma due to graduate in a few weeks, I constantly find myself pondering over the inevitable question of when and how he's going to end things with me. Every time I see him, I always brace myself for the worst. Living in fear of being hurt is getting in the way of truly being with him. I find myself scared of getting too attached, and I feel like he and I are being distant. And it sucks because I can't even enjoy my last few moments with him. I twiddle my pencil between my fingers, hoping to find an excuse not to show up tonight. I shake my head. This is ridiculous. I don't have a reason to be nervous. 

y/n: almost ready

I swipe a brush through my tangled hair and change into black cargo pants and a graphic tee. Going downstairs, I call out to my mom and tell her I'm going out. She replies with the usual 'have fun and be safe' talk, and I open the door to find myself face-to-face with Kenma. After arriving at a casual restaurant downtown, we sit across from each other in a booth. He looks unusually disturbed, and as he begins to stutter, my heart sinks. I tell myself to prepare for emotional pain, and rehearse the script I'd thought out in my free time. 

"So," Kenma says, staring at his fork. 

I smile a little, hoping to convey the message that I'm ready for whatever he's gonna say to me.

"I graduate in 3 weeks," 

"Yeah, it's crazy, but you'll have fun," 

He pulls a face. "I hate school," 

I laugh. "So do I,"

"I don't know how to do this. I've thought of a hundred different ways to say this, but I can't remember any of them," his face crumples a little as he picks around his food.

"It's okay, just improv?" I suggest. 

"I really don't want to do this," 

I don't know what to say or do. By saying that, are we immediately broken up, or will it start once we head back? 

"I think it's time," he says cautiously. "We should... we should break up. Give it some time to heal before I leave completely,"

I nod slowly, ignoring the sudden but unsurprising sinking feeling in my stomach. "Yeah," 

"y/n, I- I'm so glad that I got to know you. I know how bad it'll hurt later, but I'd still do it all over again if it means I'd have more time with you," he sniffs and lets out a giddy laugh. "I sound like a dying person," 

Hearing Kenma say those words to me make me all red and sad. I've never heard him speak like this before. Something about him, the way his personality is built- being such an introverted, beautiful being- hearing words like those from someone like him means a lot. 

"But seriously, thank you so much," 

I can't move. I can't speak. I stare blankly ahead until he puts his hand on top of mine.