Where Do Broken Hearts Go?

CHAPTER TEN

Napatingin ako sakanya habang humihikbi, nanatili lang siyang nakangiti na akala mo'y handang handang makinig sa lahat ng sasabihin ko.

"On a vacation? I wish I was just in a vacation!" I shouted.

"Maayos daw ako! Okay daw ako! Okay daw ako sabi ng mga magulang ko HAHAHAHAHA oo nga eh, okay na okay ako. Sa sobrang okay ko, naisipan kong magbakasyon lang saglit para mas maging okay pa kasi kakamatay lang ng lola ko" nababaliw na sambit ko pero nanatili lang siyang tahimik

"Hindi daw ako ganun kababa para maglayas. Seriously what do I expect? They will do everything to cover up this mess. Ang tanga ko lang kasi for a moment kahit naglayas ako, inisip ko na mag-aalala sila, hinahanap nila ako wearing their genuine worried faces because they are scared something might happen to me. But at the end of the day, their image still matters the most! That whoever, WHOEVER tried to ruined it will face the consequences."

"I know they're angry, fuming mad at me because of what I did and at first I was worried because of that but now? Who cares? Definitely not me ha! If they are mad, what about me?"

"Pano ako? Pano naman yung nararamdaman ko, na all my life I did my best but still it feels like it isn't enough. Na everytime kailangan kong maging presentable sa harap ng ibang tao kasi baka may masabi sila sa pamilya ko" tumingin ako ulit ako sakanya but this time I am not shouting.

"They are so manipulative. They controlled me, my boyfriend that causes him to cheat to me and the reason why my bestfriend lied on me. Tapos namatay pa yung lola ko kasi sinabi ko sakanya lahat ng problema ko, ayun nastress" natigilan siya sa biglang pagsasabi ko ng mga problema ko

"What did I do to deserve this?" I whispered in the middle of my sobs

"You did nothing wrong" he said "I told you it's not your fault feeling that way"

"I live my whole life trying my best to reach everyone's expectation"

"And that's what makes you feel so disappointed right now. You have to do your best for yourself and not for others. At the end of the day, your self is what really matters the most than anyone's expectation" my tears suddenly stopped because of what he said, I feel like his words got into me really hard.

"Does running away solved your problems?" He asked that question again.

"No" I answered

"Now they are chasing you"

"I just don't know what to do. I feel so alone and pain eats up everything that I have left. I just wanted to be myself, and my parents to realized how much I was hurting right now, how much I wanted to breakfree from them because they are being too much. But everything just got worst" I wiped my tears away but they kept falling down

"You can't force people to see what's good in you and how much you deserve to be loved but there are still someone out there that will love you even at times you don't know how to love yourself." He again smiled at me kaya sumandal ako sa balikat niya.

"I just wanted to be appreciated and to feel that I am special too" I whisper but still enough for him to hear it.

"Shh, you are special even without trying your best. Being exactly what you are is enough for people to see how much you deserve the world." He whispered in my ears. After a minute, I felt my consciousness leaving my body.

I woke up the next day without knowing what should I do, I can feel my anger and I don't want that.

Lumabas ako ng kwarto at nakita ko si Charlie nakahiga sa sofa habang natutulog, napakapayapa niyang tignan.

Naligo muna ako at inayos ang sarili ko pero paglabas ko ay natutulog pa din siya, tinignan ko ang relo at nakitang ala-sais pa lang.

"Charlie?" pag gising ko sakanya