Where Do Broken Hearts Go?

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

The next morning, all I did was to lock myself in Charlie's guestroom.

He will offer some foods and stuffs but I don't want to do anything.

He will talk behind the door, asking me what am I doing? Am I hungry? Am I okay? Is there something I need? He will tell some jokes and tell some short story but I can't respond, I don't feel like talking.

"Alvi, may pagkain sa baba" he said

Nakatingin lang ako sa bintana.

"Yung paso mo nalinis mo na ba?" Tinignan ko ang paso ko sa braso, it didn't hurt at all. I feel so numb.

"Gusto mo ako maglinis?" Kumatok na siya sa pinto.

"Alvi can you please atleast talk or say something." He said worriedly, maybe he thinks that I am going to kill myself.

"I'm fine" I said, narinig ko siyang bumuntong-hininga saka umalis.

He never enter this room. As if he's scared that he might invade my privacy again. I actually thank him for that, I don't know how to interact with people now.

I feel so wasted. I thought I was finally getting okay.

"Lola"

"I'm sorry"

"I feel so tired, so restless"

"I need you"

"Can I follow you there?"

"Can I go there?"

Kung hindi ako umalis para pumunta kila Nanay Tess, malamang naisalba ko kahit yung teddy bear man lang. That's the only thing that keeps me alive after lola died. What now?

Now I actually feel like everything is my fault. If only I listened.

Kung sumunod lang ako agad sa mga magulang ko na makipag-break kay Miko, I wouldn't be so broken hearted right now because of him cheating on me, using me for clout.

Bella won't lie to me. Maybe we are still friends right now. Edi sana wala akong trust issues ngayon.

Maybe lola wouldn't die because of all my problems. Siguro magaling na siya ngayon.

Hindi ako tatakbo papalayo, papunta sa kung saan dala-dala yung pinaka-mahalagang bagay para sakin. Hindi sana yon masusunog.

Is this what I really want? Is this what I deserve?

Nothing changed even after a week. Charlie's friends would come here to visit me, asking if I'm fine.

Kakain ako kapag tulog na si Charlie, pero sobrang dalang lang non.

One day, Marissa got furious and knock the hell out of Charlie because she thinks that he is not taking care of me.

I feel so bad ofcourse even though I can't really see them, I can hear them shouting downstairs.

It's my fault....again.

Bumisita din sila Nanay Tess dito para kamustahin ako.

"Alvi hija" tawag sakin ni Nanay Tess mula sa labas ng pinto

"Naiintindihan namin na napakahalaga sayo ng bagay na yon pero wala rin namang magagawa ang pagkukulong mo dito" mahinahong sambit niya

"Kailangan mo ring ingatan yung sarili mo, nandito lang kami" pagkatapos non ay umalis na siya.

I am not alone.

Ngayon, nandito silang magkakaibigan at may kung anong ginagawa sa baba.

Lumabas ako ng kwarto ko at pumunta sa bungad ng hagdan.