Five | Taegi✔️

Sixteen

  Kim Taehyung was a blink away from stopping Yoongi run away from him that night. All he had to do was move. He could've held out his hand and forced him back. He could've ran just like Yoongi did; could've ran to Yoongi and could've caught him. But he didn't. He sat there and let him run away. Because that's what should've happened. Taehyung shouldn't have just kissed Yoongi like that. He knows that now. He knows he did wrong.

  He even eventually dried off and went upstairs to knock on Yoongi's bedroom door, which seemed cold from the outside despite the tingling heat in the lodge. He knocked and he asked for forgiveness for doing what he did, but he merely received a muffled "go away" as an answer. Can't say he didn't try.

  Over and over again.

  Eventually, Yoongi yelled. At Tae.

  He yelled at Taehyung to go away. And there it was again. That feeling sinking deep into Taehyung's chest, swallowing his insides and spitting them out on what felt like concrete. Taehyung had messed up once again. Yoongi told him to leave and he didn't. He wanted to apologize but he ended up ruining everything even more than he did to begin with.

  He doesn't want Yoongi to hate him.

  All of the thoughts he had earlier about taking walks with Yoongi and taking photos of him were all shattered now. Was there even a way to put the pieces back together? Would Yoongi even let him do that? He fucking kissed him without permission for fuck's sake. He knows Yoongi would hate that.

  Why would he do that?

  Because he felt like it? That's a terrible excuse. Because he felt like Yoongi wanted it to? Did he not, though? Yoongi kissed back. Yoongi pushed him back and trapped Taehyung between his legs. Yoongi was diving deeper. Yoongi wanted it, right? So then why did he run away from him? Maybe Taehyung wasn't what he wanted. Maybe Yoongi has a significant other that Taehyung didn't know about and he was just caught up with him.

  But the burning sensation tickling at his chest was what was driving Taehyung insane. The greed that took over his body in that moment left him throwing away all of his pining and throwing away any thoughts in the moment, and he just kissed Yoongi like he was gulping down water on a hot summer day. There was no more time to think. He didn't want to. He had been craving to taste Yoongi's lips for days now, despite only knowing him for about a week. It's what he wanted and it had been a long five days spending time with Yoongi.

  But thats it. Those five days.

  Taehyung ruined it.

  Taehyung got what he wanted. At what cost? Yoongi is sitting in his room, ignoring him now. All because of want. All because Taehyung couldn't keep his impatient hands away from something that wasn't his. Selfish is what he is. And he knows that now, but what good is realizing something after the fact that he had already ruined it all?

  All those early morning breakfasts and cooking dinner together. All the deep conversations and even misunderstandings. Playing board games together and drinking the night away. Piano in the evening and dancing to the melody that Yoongi would play so beautifully. The longing to love himself and the way he thought he had finally gotten ahold of doing that— it was all thrown away. He would have to force himself to forget it all, really.

  It's not like he loves Yoongi.

  The desire to have Yoongi in his hands right about now to hug him and beg for forgiveness is screaming something different to him, though. Why would he be so angry at himself right now? Is it because of himself or because of Yoongi? Does he feel sorry for himself or sorry because he had crossed boundaries that made Yoongi uncomfortable?