July, 8 2020
I got my scan done today and it honestly wasn't too terrible. It didn't hurt that badly and i'm honestly glad i didnt have to do the dumb impression thingy. Other than that though, i haven't been doing much lately... well nothing beneficial. I deleted a hotel I built in a game and now I'm building a town. I already know it's going to take a long time to do and a lot of money in game and out. BUT. I'm looking forward to this soooo yeah ...
July, 9 2020
SO I'M FUCKING PISSED. I literally JUST got my scans done for invisalign and now i have to redo them because i have a god damn cavity. I take care of my teeth. I brush them as much as they make me. SO WHY THE FUCK DO I HAVE ANOTHER CAVITY? It makes me feel like i'm disappointing my parents when i fuck up my teeth because
It's expensive as fuck
They have a lot of cavities and they dont want me to follow in their footsteps , so to say..
My mom was upset when I had two cavities... Now I have like three in one tooth.
It's just annoying because i would have lost this tooth by now if i was born with a permanent tooth underneath it.... But I wasn't... i'm fucking special. And that's annoying.
July, 10 2020
I'm still really mad about the whole teeth situation, but for some reason it's inspired me to start taking the proper steps to self care. I honestly do the BARE minimum of what i should do in my routine... and i only really do the 'routine' when i feel like it. So I've been doing a lot of research and I plan on creating a good skin care routine for me to follow... skin has been a big insecurity for me my whole life, idk if that's because i'm a teenager or what... but it's a big issue. Another thing is my hair..... Hate to admit it but... lol I don't use a conditioner. I just wash my hair with shampoo and dont take care of it. Like at all. I'm going to start. I'll use a heat protectant more often and I'll buy some damn conditioner.
July, 11 2020
I got the perfect skincare routine and I plan on looking if I can find any of it at Target and walmart. I'm gonna take a wild assumption though and say I won't be able to find it in stores.... But it's fine, I can always order shit online. I'm still genuinely in a good mood. Like I feel good. I feel happy. But my mind still thinks of things really negatively. It's such a strange feeling. Like being positive, but not.... I'm not sure but I have a feeling my friend and I are drifting apart and it's making me really upset. I actually have no one else in life other than her. We used to stay up all night with each other, call and play games and go to sleep at 10. Then we'd both wake up at 4 to our phones at 4% and eat food before doing it again. We'd hang out at each other's houses for 5 days minimum, but now everything's different. It's felt like forever since we've hung out and had a good time. And i can't remember the last time we called after midnight. I understand that she wants a better sleep schedule, and I'm proud that she's doing that! But it's hard for me to be alone. Like alone, alone. I genuinely don't have another friend to talk to and it;s really hard for me. But whatever, maybe things will change when school starts up again.
July, 12 2020
Sooo today we bought the skin care stuff! Well.. one of the products on my list. I looked LITERALLY everywhere and they don't have the cleanser i want anywhere. It's sad, but i'll order it later. I got a lot of healthier food options at the store in hopes of me eating healthier... I can't believe those words were typed from my hands. Me, a picky eater, would never EVER think of typing that and meaning it. I ate a salad tonight. I DON'T KNOW IF YOU UNDERSTAND HOW AWESOME THAT IS FOR ME. Not gonna lie... salad's aren't bad-
July, 13 2020
I don't know how I feel anymore. It's such a strange sensation... it's like your brain and body aren't connected. Your body feels great and motivated, energized... but your mind is corrupted. Every negative thought that typically runs through my head is still there. It's weird and I wish I knew how to explain it. Also another thing. I will be going on another last minute planned trip. I'm not as worried about this one though since it'll be with my family and they like to know what the hell is going on too. We're going to my uncle's lake cabin from thurs-sun... then I have marching band rehearsal... and school starts up again. I'm not prepared at all.
July, 14 2020
I would like to announce that nothing interesting happened today. I got a cavity filled... but besides that I did literally nothing. I basically slept the rest of the day. I had them use the Nitrous on me because I probably would've not allowed them anywhere near my mouth if they didn't. I remember the last time I got the gas... everything was fine. But for some reason the first couple minutes this time sucked. The nurse sat there with me for a couple seconds then left to grab something, I assume. The moment she left my body felt paralyzed. It felt like there was static and a blurr tunneling my vision. I can't describe how awful and trapped I felt. My arms and legs started shaking a bit but once I moved them everything was good. I'm fine, and everything went well... but that feeling I had with the Nitrous was honestly... horrible.
YOU ARE READING
my journal.
Non-Fictionjournal. a place for your thoughts, memories, stories and journeys. everyone has their story, i chose to publicly tell mine. i know some people at my school like to read my stories (that have been taken down as of 2/13/20) which i don't mind...b...
