Runner (Riders of Apollo #3)

Chapter Four: Mika Sage

I'm agitated.

Extremely agitated.

Raphael is gone. I can't find him anywhere, I've looked through every camera and have had no luck. It's been happening a lot more recently and sometimes he comes back sweating and tired, looks like he's been having fun with someone else.

The thought alone has me snapping my pen in half, the plastic scattering across the room and pissing me off. I can really only be mad at myself, he can fuck whoever he wants and so can I. "You good, brother?" Hunter asks from the door, he is concerned for me and he checks everyday to see if I'm on something.

He has a woman and a child to worry about and yet he still finds time to check on me. I appreciate it, I haven't had anyone to check on me since my grandmother died. 

Biologically, we weren't even related, she adopted me out of the system when I was seven. A Native American lady, with a little round body and soft wrinkled hands that needed someone to keep her company in her older years. She's the one that named me Mika, I hated my other name so she promised to fix it and she did.

I loved her more than anyone else and I was broken when she died, I couldn't eat or sleep. I just stayed sat in front of the computer in the tiny bungalow she had left for me hacking things I really shouldn't have. Including the server I now use everyday. The Riders found me, smashed down my door and demanded to know how I did it and why.

I didn't even care when they carried me out of the house, everything was numb and a soft buzzing sound rang in my head constantly.

I figured I would rather die at the hands of the Riders than go back into foster care.

The social workers were already coming down on me and I kept hiding from them but I didn't have the energy to keep going. I surrendered to them and Bear saved my life by making me a prospect, I have a family but it doesn't stop me missing her. I go to her burial site once a week and sit with her for awhile and I kept the house that we lived in for eight years together.

"I'm sorry she's gone, mi amor. She's proud of you, I'm sure." (my love) His arms are warm around me as I sob gently into his shoulder. The date she died had come back around again and smacked me in the face with ferocity and it breaks me every time.

Raphe came to my rescue immediately, opening his bedroom door and letting me in. We rest on the bed whispering softly about everything we've ever wanted and everything that has been taken from us. Gentle kisses brush my hairline and my cheeks and I bask in the comfort he offers me.

I wipe my face viciously as I shiver, remembering his touch on me is like sticking a branding iron in my heart and twisting it. It's so hard without him. I take a deep breath before I sink too far into my own head and glare back at the screens in front of me. During peace time I really don't have much to do, I just shore up firewalls and play video games all the time since I don't get sent on runs - Bear's excuse being I'm too important to be put at risk.

You'd think he'd take the same advice considering he's the Prez but I guess it doesn't really matter, he's gonna do as he pleases and it's my job to follow his orders. "Romeo!" I snap out of my head and concentrate back on the attractive Asian as he looks at me with undisguised concern. "I've been calling your name for five minutes, are you alright?"

"I... I don't even know anymore." I grumble, sticking another lollipop in my mouth. I swear I consume more sugar than vegetables but the feeling of the lollipop steers me away from smoking and... you know what, we're not gonna go there.

"Romeo, you need to talk to someone. If it can't be me then..."

"Therapy? You think that'd work?" I ask him softly, concentrating on my hands as I rub them together nervously. I've never considered the idea of therapy before if I'm honest, when I was left alone I was only thinking of survival and when I first got here I just wanted to prove myself so that they wouldn't kick me out.

"I don't know, it might be worth a try. Mari says that Saviour went to one and it really helped with everything she went through, it's not weak to ask for help even if you are a Biker. No one's gonna judge you."

"Yeah, I guess. Thanks Runner, I'll ask Sav about it."

"Come and eat with us, I'm sure it's not helping being cooped up in here for hours on end." He grabs me by my shoulders and I let him tug me into the dining room where my rowdy family are fighting over food. I look over at Raphe and sigh in relief to see him safe, I am such a paranoid little shit.

I need to take a valium.

I take my seat next to Lexie and she passes me a plate with her usual smile on her face. She's always been so sweet, we basically grew up together, her acting as my older sister and teaching me the ropes. I smile back at her and decide that I should tell her next, that I'm gay and that I'm going to get help for my issues.

Unfortunately, the problems that come with drug addiction don't just go away when you stop taking the drugs. The need for them remains and I need to get stronger in my mental state soon to try and avoid a complete relapse, I need to get myself better and sitting around moping is not going to work.

I look over at Hunter and nod, he understands what I mean and I see some of the tension in his shoulders relax as he kisses his woman's head and sits with his daughter on his lap. "So, Sav, how is our pequeño milagro?" (little miracle) Raphe asks and we actually know what this means as it has been translated it before.

The whole club has taken to calling Reign and Saviour's baby a miracle because she wasn't supposed to be able to conceive. We all have to keep an eye on her health but both of them seem really happy and we can't wait for another baby to spoil. We're all betting on her giving birth to a little girl, we've made bets and we're waiting excitedly for the results.

"Perfect, doc says the baby is doing really well and I need to keep going steady. We've only got two more months and then the baby will be on her way." Her sly look is amusing as she waits for everyone else to realise that she's just said 'her' in that sentence.

"That's really good! I'm so excited to be an auntie, I'm going to spoil her rot- wait, her! It's a little girl?!" Lexie is the first to call Saviour out on it, squealing excitedly and everyone cheers in happiness. Then the bets get roped in and I get handed my winnings, fanning myself with it immediately after.

"I call godfather!" Raphe shouts, his grin lighting in face incredibly. God, I fucking adore that smile. I wish he would look that way over me but I fucked that completely.

Why am I such an idiot?