Runner (Riders of Apollo #3)

Chapter Eight: Mika Sage

The party is in full swing. All the hang-arounds, club whores and bikers in the street with massive speakers, alcohol and drugs in abundance with the aroma of food and weed. Rider parties go all the way, the ground vibrating as we go into the early morning.

At least we don't have any neighbours.

I'm enjoying myself until I see Raphe. He looks drool worthy in his tight black jeans and white Henley top that perfectly forms to his muscles, all made ten times better with the leather cut overtop. His hair is still it's standard unkemptness and is face is well groomed, his soft facial hair enhancing his jawline that I've licked before.

The problem isn't how goddamn good he looks - though I wish it was - it's the fact he is greeting another guy who gets out of a fucking Range Rover in black slacks and a white shirt with the arms folded around his elbows. Raphe seems happy too see him and I start to feel sick to my stomach, my throat tightening along with my fists.

I need to get out of here.

I'm about to escape when the silent giant appears in front of me with a concerned look on his face. I look up at Breaker with - what I hope is - a nonchalant look. The raised eyebrow tells me that I haven't succeeded in convincing him that I am perfectly fine so I resume my pout and glare up at him.

I hate the fact he can read me so well. To be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if he already knows everything that's happened between Raphe and I, he's somehow everywhere and nowhere at once while knowing basically everything that goes on under the clubhouse roof. That spy training gave him way too many skills and it's made my life harder in terms of keeping my secret.

I decide to just go for it and fucking ask him, "You know, don't you?" I flick my eyes back to Raphe as Breaker moves to stand beside me. I catch his nod and I sigh, of course he did. I should've just told him from the get-go. "I'm sorry I kept it from you." Breaker sighs and puts his hand on my shoulder comfortingly.

He types a message on his phone and shows it to me, 'It doesn't matter, Romeo. As long as you're happy. But you're not.'

"I'm trying, I even got a therapist to help but he - he's gone from me now. He's found someone who treats him properly, I was bad for him. He can be happy now."

'You're trying, Romeo, maybe one day it'll be good for the both of you.' I smile up at him before heading into the bar to mope over a bottle of whiskey which is probably not a good idea. I mean, it did give me all these problems in the first place. It was right here where I got drunk enough to get the courage to go down to the weapons room and slam him against that wall.

I can't do that today. 

No matter how jealous I am, no matter how much I want him, it wouldn't be fair of me to ruin whatever he has with that guy. Breaker is right. I need to work on myself before I bombard back into his life and ruin it all over again.

I sigh and uncap the bottle, taking a few gulps and ignoring the burning in my throat. I never usually drink whiskey, I normally stick to beer and when I used to go partying with Rubble I would shot tequila like it was water. I haven't been out with him in at least a month by now.

Everyone has noticed my demureness and all of them have made sure to check on me, offer me support, food and everything. At least I have a family and I know I can count on their support. I think even Raphe would help me if I asked, it just wouldn't be fair of me to do that.

I sigh in frustration before jumping when I find Leo - the baby prospect - dropping into the seat next to me looking annoyed. "You alright?" I ask him. I was in his position six years ago, the youngest prospect but the first one to get patched. I took a bullet for Gears when I was just shy of sixteen and it fast tracked the process, was in recovery for a few weeks and then I was back to weight training under the watchful eye of Breaker.

"I'm not good at anything that doesn't include jacking cars. Bear put me in the garage because he figured I can fix cars, turns out I can steal them really well but I can't put the bastard things back together." He slams his head on the bar and I hand him the bottle, laughing as he coughs violently.

"Look, you'll find what you're good at. Everyone says you're doing well in training and you've started getting bigger, you'll be good at something."

"They said that you prospected when you were fifteen."

"Yep, fresh out of school and on the run from social workers, hacking the Pentagon and a few other servers I had no reason to go digging through."

"I actually almost got Reign on his ass the other day, you know?" I laugh and clap him on the shoulder proudly.

"There you go! See? You're on the right track." I ruffle his hair before heading to my office and staring at the baggie I hid from Hunter a few days ago. I rub the packet between my fingers and debate whether or not falling off the wagon would be a good idea. I doubt I'd be able to put myself back on so I decide on giving it to Hunter so that I can't do anything with it.

I find him in one of the loungers with Marielle in his lap and I pass it to him with a bowed head, slightly embarrassed that I hid it from him when I promised him I wouldn't. I hear shuffles and find myself in his embrace as he assures me that he's not mad and that he's happy I'm still taking steps to make myself better.

I'm working on it and that's enough for now.