Don't Let Me Go

Not Easy

April 22

I love Asa.

I love Asa. I am not going to deny myself when I say that I love him. I have loved him since we first met. Something about him just makes me fall in love with him over and over again.

I have been home for about a week. I feel like crap here and there but its typical cancer symptoms. I haven't been able to go out of the house which sucks because I have no idea what is going on in the world.. which I guess could be a good thing. I have been talking to Makenzie on the phone for about a half an hour and I just decided to tell her to come over. I threw on sweatpants and a tank and walked downstairs. "Morning Em!" my mom says in a happy mood. "Morning. Kenzie is coming over to visit for a while if thats okay!" I say in a tired tone. "That is fine!"

I walked over to the cabinet and grabbed myself a pop tart and then went over on the couch and turned on Criminal Minds. About 10 minutes later I hear 3 knocks at the door. "Hey mom, will you get that? Its Kenz."

When my mom opened the door Makenzie ran over to me and gave me a big hug. "Here, sit." I pointed her to sit down beside me. "So how are you?" Kenzie asked. "Good." I respond while looking down at my twiddling thumbs. Kenzie quickly put her hands on my thumbs to make them stop. I looked up. "Emily, how are you? Really?" she asked again. "Anxious." I respond. "Anxious about what?" she asked "Asa. I haven't told him about me yet so what if he takes it the wrong way?" I say almost in tears. I look at Kenzie once more and she quickly looked away. I knew something was wrong. She is always in a optimistic mood and something just seems off. "Kenz, whats wrong? I asked sounding scared. "I did something bad." My heart dropped. "And, that was..?" I asked trying to pull it out of her. "Will you ask your mom to leave the room." she wispered. I knew that what she was about to tell me was going to be bad. "Hey mom do you mind going into your room really quick?" She got up and walked out of the room. "Makenzie what is up?" I said in a demanding tone. "Please dont get upset." she said teary eyed. "Ok.." I say still trying to pull it out of her. "For the passed week and a half.. I've been talking to Asa." She said, I didnt really know what she meant. "Okay, why is that bad?" I asked. "Emily, I have been talking to Asa." Right then I knew what she meant. I felt all the anger build up inside me but didnt let it out quite yet. "What happened?" I asked sounding mad. "Well it was only for like a couple minutes." she said sounding guilty. "What was?" I asked. "Our make out session..." She couldnt even look me in the eye. Did she seriously say that? Oh my god. "W-W-What?" I had no words to say to her. "I am sorry, we were doing a project and then I just kissed him. Later that night he knocked on my door and said he needed someone and I didnt want him to kiss me because I knew how upset you'd be but then he just did anyways." She said in a panic. "He needed someone?" I felt a tear roll down my cheek. "Makenzie-" "BUTTERFIELD." Before I could say a word she interrupted me. "Asa Butterfield, Emily.. are you that clueless?" She said before walking out the door. "What?" I asked. "Asa Butterfield.. he is the boy in the striped pajamas.. dont you get it Emily?" It all finally made sense. He is homeschooled because movies. He lied to me. Asa lied to me. "Bye Makenzie." I said while starting to cry. She closed the door and I started bawling. I scurried upstairs before my mom came back out. I sat on my bed and read through all of Asa and I's messages.

I started texting Asa.

Asa, why did you lie?

Sent.

Asa- what do you mean?

Me- Makenzie.. really? Why her? my best friend. Why would you even do that at all? and you couldnt even tell me that you are an actor?

Asa- Emily I am so sorry. I missed you so much I just needed someone. And because I feared that you may think I'm stuck up and greedy because of my acting career.

Me- Asa, I don't think you are stuck up. I could careless about your acting career right now, I just want to know why you hooked up with my best friend?

Asa- Because I love you too much. I fear that I will start loving you even more and that we would just break someday. I am so sorry. Please don't leave me. Don't let me go that easy, I know I made a mistake but Em, I love you. I miss you.

Me- Trust me, it's not easy.

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How did you guys like it? Comment, vote & share!! ~ Jillian