Did Time Stop?

14. TIME FOR A CHANGE

Mattia's POV
I knew Kai wasn't eating and I knew how he saw his self, hello I can read his mind. I knew exactly how he thought about his self and that upset me, he's perfect. I was upset because he wasn't eating and also he kept putting his self down, so when we were walking to the room I didn't say anything and I just walked in and laid down. You're probably wondering why I'm upset, one of my best friends died from starvation because they thought they were fat or disgusting.. she wasn't though. She was beautiful, a deep olive skin tone, honey brown and naturally curly hair and green eyes. She had deep dimples and she was around kais height. He actually reminds me of her, I just can't stand around and wait. I don't want to find out I lost him too and in the same way. Also, I am starting to really fall for him. Surprise I'm gay. Shocker? I think I knew all along that I was but kept it buried, scared of all the judgement, the looks, the fear of my dad finding out.. it was time to change that. I felt something deeper than a friendship for this boy and I haven't felt like this ever. Yes I had girlfriends but I was never fully into them and we would only date for about a month, we were never "intimate" though. Kairi was different though, I could see myself having a future with him with some kids and a small bulldog or something. Cheesy I know but that's what this boy is doing to me and he has no idea. I see him as this perfect boy who has so much potential and I don't think a bad bone in his body. He's so pure and loving, he's adorable and so underrated and understanding, I see him as being so strong and able.. I see all of him, and all of him is perfect the way it is, he's funny, so beautiful, his smile takes my breath away, the sound of his voice is my favorite song right after his laugh. I love hearing from him or about him and he's different than other ppl. He's so kind and so sweet, he shines this light whenever he smiles or anything like that, he's protecting but he also needs to be protected. He'd do anything for the people he loves and I admire that. (Simp) I'm snapped out of my thoughts when he gets up and runs to the bathroom. Okay? I almost get up to see if he felt sick or something but I heard him say mom so I decided to wait. Keep in mind I can hear what's going on and I am so heartbroken, he was having a panic attack. I know now that he has depression and anxiety, along with body dysmorphia. He also has a medicine that he skipped and he hasn't been eating.. I know I should've stopped listening to his thoughts but I was so drawn to him that I wanted to help, so I took mental note of those things and thought of ways to make him feel better. When his mom asked if he wanted to talk about it I heard "my roommate just hates me and I already ruined my friendship with him by being stupid and my usual broken self" why does he keep thinking this way and putting his self down? He told his mom he didn't want to talk about it though so I'm confused. Why bottle it up? They continued talking and I had an idea, I just met him and we've only been here a few hours but look how much has happened. Was it really to fast to fall for him? Or was it something that should've happened a long long while ago? It felt so different when I looked at him, he was my main focus. Looking at him stopped time for me, I saw only him. So, while he was on the phone I got into my car and ran to the store to grab a few things. I got to the mall, which was only like two minutes or something away. I bought a weighted blanket (they help with anxiety) a projector to watch movies, and I went to the candy store and bought some candy. Some of it was random and some I actually thought about whether he'd like it, I also got him a teddy bear with some flowers. I also thought he would be hungry, so I went to Wendy's and got him a chicken sandwich combo with a sprite, I ordered it plain since I didn't know if he liked mayo or not. I made it back to the room with all of the stuff I just bought and set everything up.