Flowers in the window (r.v.d)

chapter twenty-eight

The song for this chapter is summertime sadness by Lana Del Rey. This song is about her best friend who committed suicide, and Lana dedicated this song to her. In this song, Lana  is basically reminiscing about how her best friend made her feel electric and alive and she's thinking back to their positive moments, before they both inevitably commit suicide. This song always makes me cry, no exception, so please listen to it before, while or after reading. 

I  also just wanted to quickly note that there are mentions of suicide in this chapter, so please, please don't feel you need to read this chapter if you get triggered easily alright? 

When I woke for my class the next morning, the second last class before Ruel and I's project was due (which presented itself as an issue because I had no clue what was going on with our friendship), I had one notification on my phone. Just one. And it happened to be a  missed call from Ruel at 3:07 AM. This in itself was unsettling for numerous reasons, because what could be urgent enough for him to call me, me (of all people) at an ungodly hour after ignoring my flood of texts last night. Not that I'd noticed the lack of responses as I'd spent the good majority of the night speaking in love ballads and professing my adoration for Ruel to Bella. Meaning he'd probably called me when I was half-way through telling Bella about the way I drowned in his rainy eyes or how wondrous I found it when his rose petal lips twitched slightly when I told a joke. 

"Let me tell you about all the things I adore about him" I'd said to Bella a few hours into the night. And that had been the start of a very long night for the both us. It had started off with endless (and chaotic) descriptions of Ruel and ended in Bella hitting me with a pillow 4 hours later because 'I just wouldn't shut it' and 'she needed beauty sleep'. 

"You love him. There. I just said the words you've been avoiding for the past four hours in less than 10 seconds" 

"No shit Sherlock. But he doesn't want me back... except I think he likes me... just a little bit. Do you think he still likes me?" I'd whined while Bella had lain in the bed with a pillow covering her face.

"He likes you" 

"But-"

"He likes you"

"But Bella-"

"He likes you"

"BELL-"

"He likes you"

"B-"

"He likes you"

"Stop it you ass" I'd grumbled, whacking her with my pillow, "It's not that simple. It's all just so confusing. One second he'll tell me he doesn't want anything to do with me and the next he's telling me I'm wonderful"

"Just talk to him. " Bella had said

"I can't just fucking talk to him. It's Ruel we're talking about Bella. He's like a... timid possum, you know? I have to be careful in approaching him"

"Just lure him in with your peach. Possums like peaches."  She'd broken off laughing hysterically at her sorry excuse of an innuendo, her cheeks flushed pink and her eyes sparkling, "Or maybe he likes cherries more" 

I'd glared at her, my lips quirking slightly. 

"Do possums even eat fruit?"

"Oh yes. I used to have a possum called Steven and I'd always feed him peaches. But you'd have to ask Ruel  whether he likes cherries or prefers a nice, juicy peach" She'd continued laughing, still pissing herself over her  joke.

"You're an absolute idiot, you know that?" 

"Compared to you, I'm perfectly sane" She'd giggled, "I mean you're the idiot in the room. You're more in love with Ruel than Andre is with his own reflection which is saying a lot  yet you're too much of a chicken to go talk to him"