Flowers in the window (r.v.d)

chapter thirty

The song for this chapter is why do you only call me when you're high by the arctic monkeys. It doesn't exactly fit the vibe of this chapter but I'm literally obsessed with this song so obviously there was no other option but to play it on repeat while writing :) 

The song X & Y  by Coldplay fits this chapter much better and it's a breathtaking song, so please give it a listen too. Each word in this song relates to Ruel's situation so closely, it's almost as if Coldplay wrote it for his character. The close relation of the lyrics to this story literally blew my mind, I was like hang onnnnn

The next few days flew by in a flurry of chaos, constant worry and paparazzi. The sheer number of cameras, interviewers and flashing lights gathered around the hospital where Ruel was staying, drove my head in. I hadn't been able to see him, not until he was back on campus. So I'd drowned in my own thoughts and concerns, not a second going by without thinking about the moment I'd found his eerily drifting body, the way he had been so still, the way his green eyes had been scarily calm as he'd gazed at me afterwards. 

And when I wasn't thinking about him (in those rare few minutes), I'd catch brief snippets of conversation in the hallways, always about Ruel. In those moments, I'd walk out as fast as I could, until the cool breeze surrounded me and the suffocating air of the hallways and the strangling hold of people's assumptions faded away. 

**

"Aster" Bella murmured gently shaking my shoulder. I groaned, opening my eyes reluctantly. I was met with her quiet brown stare. 

Bella- she'd been... quiet the past few days, the spark of energy which had always kept us all going faded. And Andre... he'd slipped into an almost mechanical mode, his eyes always laced with panic and his movements stiff. None of us had been able to see Ruel, and it was eating at us all. 

"Aster" She repeated. 

I sat up. 

"Ruel's back apparently. Andre's with him now." She said, her tone calm. I whipped my head to her so fast the stiff joints of my neck cracked. 

"He's back?"

"He's in his rooms. Came back at dawn this morning to avoid the press" 

"Can we..." I gulped, "Can we go see him?"

"I was just waiting for you, as always" She smiled, a ghost of her old mocking self, "I have to teach you to get ready faster. It's an important life skill you know" She added, yet her teasing grin didn't quite reach her eyes. 

I grumbled something unintelligible before rolling out of bed. And ten minutes later, a very impatient Bella and I began our way towards Ruel's rooms. Bella walked in without knocking (typical), yet I hovered at the door, my heart pounding in my throat in the most uncomfortable and pressing manner. Because I was scared. I was fucking terrified. 

"Aster, hurry up" Bella sang from deep in Ruel's rooms. 

Each step I took into his room was agonising, almost as if I was floating. Everything spun, as my heart raced faster, as my breathing quickened, as-

"Aster, over here" Andre smiled reassuringly, and I realised his eyes were lighter as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. 

Yet I froze, my limbs refusing to cooperate. Because there was Ruel, wearing a satin suit with a powder blue flower pinned to his lapel. And he was smiling gently at me, as if it were just another day, as if I hadn't dragged him from the bottom of the void a few days ago.