petals on our lips |

8

She closed her eyes and sighed with frustration.

She opened them back and looked at me angrily.

'You need to do the surgery.'

Her voice was stern as if I had no choice.

As if I had no choice in the matter of taking the surgery or not.

In her mind, I had to take the surgery.

There was no other option.

Still, I looked at her with a sad smile.

Speaking the same words she had told me,

though mine would truly describe my fate.

I told her,

'I'd rather die.'

Frustrated to a higher extent she took in a sharp breath and dropped to the side of the hospital bed.

Her hands lay on her lap.

I looked away from her not wanting to be persuaded in any way.

'Look at me.'

Yet still, I turned my head and looked at her.

With a worried tone, she begged me to do it.

She tried in every way to make me give up and say yes.

All her words were nothing to me.

All she asked was for me to do it for myself, for my health, and for my future.

I could care less for myself now.

I think, even if she had asked of me what I had of her,

 I still would've chosen to die.

Call me selfish, but I didn't want to get rid of my feelings.

Because this painful bliss was all I would ever live for now.

I asked to be discharged.

They tried many times to explain that I was in close critical condition.

I didn't want to stay here and I didn't want help.

I made them well aware of my wishes.

Finally, they let me go.

Calmly humming I took off the hospital gown and started dressing myself in some clothes she had brought from my house.

I could feel her stare as I changed.

She had no choice but to accept my decision.

She drove me home.

-

She swiftly unlocked my apartment door and turned the lights on.

She slid out of her shoes and held my tired body up a bit.

I kicked my shoes off and let her lead me to my bedroom.

She carefully dropped me on my bed and sat next to me.

She told me she planned to spend a few hours just for safe measures and that she'd come back tomorrow morning.

It was strange seeing her act as her regular self a bit.

She looked me in the eyes and told me if I ever needed anything to call her.

That's when I knew I couldn't hold it back anymore.

I confessed to her.

Confessed to her that my idiotic feelings toward her had caused this.

I expected her to reject my feelings and maybe even leave me.

But she didn't.

Her eyes filled up with tears and she pulled me into a hug.

I'd never seen her cry as she did that day.

Hearing her almost silent sobs caused me pain.

That's when I felt tears race down my face.

I hugged her tighter fearing she'd disappear into thin air.

She slowly let me go and our eyes met.

Without a second thought, I leaned in and placed my lips on hers.

I closed mine feeling her soft lips as she stood frozen in place.

With a shocked expression, she harshly shoved me off.

Staring at me in confusion and disgust.