petals on our lips |

10

Now there was only silence.

I could feel the tension and yet, I remained still.

She had barely allowed me to kiss her.

I felt that I would ruin this moment by expecting more.

But as if she read my worries,

she slid her hand to the side of my face and kissed me once more.

With her other hand, she tugged my sweater upwards.

I obliged and lifted it over my head.

We both looked down at my body.

All thin and sickly.

I could see how she furrowed her brows and I felt disgusting.

I turned my face away and reached for my sweater but she took a hold of my wrist.

'You're beautiful'

She spoke out.

I sniffled at her comment and looked back at her.

She gave my face soft kisses and slowly she continued down my neck.

Treating me so carefully as if I was fragile,

as if I'd break from any haste movement.

—

I looked at her figure and smiled.

My pajama fit her less loosely than how it usually hung on me.

This moment in time felt perfect.

This moment, all of it felt like something other than reality.

Finally we could both be happy.

Happy together.

I brought myself out of my thoughts.

Walking towards the couch I asked her if she wanted something to eat at least.

She took her attention away from the tv and to me and nodded at me with a smile tugging her lips.

I made my way to the kitchen.

I reached for the handle of my cupboards but stopped.

A sharp pain stung my chest.

My vision began to blur and everything spun around me.

My body grew dizzy and I felt my legs start to tremble beneath me as if they'd give up and drop me.

My chest tightened and I gripped my counter edge tightly with one hand.

I took breaths trying to calm myself down but it caused far worse.

My throat burned as I started to cough and cough out.

I covered my mouth but felt a warm substance.

With a shaky hand, I brought my hand down from my face and looked at it.

There stood three vibrant blue petals in my hand.

At that moment I felt my hopes shatter to pieces.

My coughs grew more violent to where I began to gag not holding my hand to my mouth anymore.

The second that it stopped I turned to look at her.

She walked towards me with a worried look on her face.

She spoke my name out concerned.

She let out a quiet gasp seeing the petals and she shook scared as she tried to get closer to me.

I shoved her away with tears running down my face.

I couldn't believe it.

She used me.

I had really believed that she had fallen for me but it wasn't true.

If it was true I would've been cured.

If it was true there wouldn't be petals surrounding us both.

She froze seeing the petals on the floor and on my hand.

'Wait, listen to me first-'

I slapped her.

I yelled at her and gripped her by the pajama she wore.

With all the strength I had left I tried to shove her away and I yelled for her to leave.

Instead she took it all.

She took all my hits as I cried in pain for the hurt she had caused my body and my mind.

She didn't say a word but the tears that fell from her soft reddened eyes did.

I called her names and I told her how I hated her so much.

I thought I hated her for using me.

I thought I hated her for pretending to love me.

But it wasn't hate.

I could never hate her.

I was in pain physically and mentally now.

I felt I had been betrayed in the worst possible way.

My body was still trembling.

I dropped to the kitchen ground tired and still dizzy and I took a breath.

But my throat felt clogged.

I tried to cough the flowers out but nothing came out.

I squeezed my throat in desperation but it was no hope.

My legs kicked out and I continued to try even if it was useless.

It's as if I was grasping onto something that was destined to slip through my fingers.

My vision grew darker and darker.

My ears began to ring and fade every sound around me.

My body grew hot and my heavy eyes dropped closed.

And slowly my body went still and I couldn't control it anymore.

-

A/n: notice a bit of similarity with the last sentence of the first chapter and this one?