Unexpeted

Ch. 36

Demi's pov

I wake up to a sharp pain and I sit up only to see blood beneath me, "Fuck."

How is this happening right now? I've been totally fine this whole time and now the day I'm supposed to see a doctor I'm not?

I get out of bed ignoring the pain in my body and grabbing a new pair of shorts and underwear before walking to the bathroom.

"This seriously can't be happening right now." I mutter to myself.

I sit on the toilet and pull my pants down to see them soaked with blood, "Oh my god, this is happening." I whisper.

I change into a new pair of underwear and put a pad in them before getting up and putting my stuff in the laundry room.

I walk back to my room and grab my phone and check the time to see it's 7 am, "Lauren said she could watch Eliana another night." I hear.

I look up to see Dallas at my doorway, "Alright."

Her eyebrows raise, "Are you ok?"

"I think I'm having a miscarriage." I mumble.

"You think or you know? Why do you think?" She asks.

"Lots of cramping and I'm bleeding. So I'm pretty certain it is. But I still want to go to the doctor to see what's happening." I say.

"No, you need to go to a doctor to see what's happening. How long have you been bleeding for?" She asks.

"I don't know, I just woke up to pain. Then I looked and I was bleeding a lot. I felt fine last night so I don't know what happened." I say.

I know stress can cause a miscarriage, and yes I've been stressed, but not this amount of stressed. I had so much more stress when I was pregnant with Eliana and I didn't miscarry her. I've never had a miscarriage. I don't know why this is happening.

"Have you been stressed? Taking care of yourself?" She asks.

"Not any more stressed than I was with Eliana. Stress has gone down a bit, I mean yeah it's still there, but it's gone down a lot. I've been taking care of myself. I don't know why this would happen."

"Might now be your fault, might just be the baby Dems." She says.

"So Lauren said she could watch Eliana another night?" I ask.

"Yeah."

"Can you check and see if she can for a few more nights?" I ask.

"I will later, we kinda need to focus on this right now." She says.

"The doctors isn't open until 8." I say.

"I'm assuming you're not willing to go anywhere other than to see the doctor who helped you with Elianas pregnancy?" She asks.

"No." I say.

"Alright then we'll wait until 8 and call the doctor and see if they can get you in. I'm sure they'll get you in with this type of emergency." She says.

"Yeah." I sigh.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" She asks.

"No, not really. I'll be fine." I say.

Hopefully that is.

*time skip*

"Demi how long have you been bleeding for?" My doctor asks.

"I don't know, I just woke up as was bleeding and cramping. I guess since last night." I say.

"And you're still bleeding?" She asks.

"Yes. Every 10 minutes I believe."

I hear her take a deep breath, "Ok, about how many weeks do you think you'd be?" She asks.

I look at her as she grabs the gel, "Maybe 6 weeks at most? I honestly don't know."

"Ok, well, let's see what's happening. It sounds like a miscarriage, but we don't know quit yet. Sometimes bleeding does happen with pregnancy and it's not a miscarriage. But with how much you're bleeding and how often, it does sound like a miscarriage." She says.

As she turns around I lift my shirt right blow my bra and she puts the gel onto my stomach. I flinch at the chill causing her to give me a sympathetic smile, "I'm sorry, it's a bit cold."

"It's fine." I say.

I haven't exactly had to go through this in a little over 8 years now so I forgot how cold the gel is. The last time I was here was to confirm I was before I did the abortion. Something I know Wilmer to this day has not forgiven me for.

She grabs the wand, "Ok I'm going to do the ultrasound and see what is happening." She says.

I give a small nod and watch her put the wand on my stomach. She looks at the screen and I just look down at my stomach not wanting to see anything. It'll hurt less if I don't.

"Ok, with the development you look to be 7 weeks. So we should hear a heartbeat." She says.

"If there isn't one then that means it's dead right?" I ask.

"Unfortunately, yes."

I take a deep breath and as I hear her tap a few keys, "Ok I'm going to check the heartbeat." She says.

I feel my own heart race. I don't want it to be dead. I just found out yesterday and this is all my fault. I still hadn't even made up my mind on what I was going to do. I just wanted get the appointment to make sure I was.

I wanted this baby. I wasn't sure I was going to follow Dallas's advice. I felt like I was ready. I felt like I could do this.

I look at my doctor anxiously and when several moments pass she just shakes her head, "I don't hear anything Demi. I'm sorry."

I give a small nod as I feel my eyes water, "Ok."

I feel as everything inside me has just completely died. I have given my daughter away to my sister and the child I wanted to keep so badly, I just lost.

"I'm so sorry." She says sincerely.

"I know, I figured that it was a miscarriage. I was already preparing to hear that." I say.

"You need to take it easy these next few days. You don't need to do a lot of psychical activity or cause anymore stress on yourself." She says.

"Ok, thank you." I say.

She hands me a towel and I wipe the gel of my stomach before getting off the examine table. I walk out do the office and meet Dallas in the waiting room.

We walk to the car in silence and once we get into the car Dallas turns her head to me, "You're silent. Is everything ok?" She asks.

"Not really, it's dead."

She looks at me guiltily, "I'm sorry Demi."

"It's not like there's anything I can do about it now." I say.

Just suffer and blame myself for everything. Because it is my fault. I've felt sick for weeks and it took me this long to take a test. Had I gone to the doctors earlier, maybe things wouldn't be how they are right now.

"I'll stay with you a couple of days to help you out. I already texted Lauren and she said she could move some things around to be able to stay with Eliana for a few days." Dallas says.

"Can I see her?" I ask.

"I don't think that's a good idea Demi. When I talked to Lauren she said Eliana was really worked up today and it took her a very long time to calm down. Lauren didn't go into any details about anything, but said Eliana wasn't feeling well last night and has been a bit moody since. I think it's best for Eliana to just stay with Lauren right now. I don't think it's a good idea to bring her here and stress her out. I promise I'll bring her by sometime next week. If you want her to stay the night I'll allow that." Dallas says.

Why did I do this? Why did I give her to Dallas? I regret it all so much. I want my daughter back. This isn't what I want anymore. I wish I wouldn't have done this.