Young Love

This Is It

"Ngunit Crisostomo! Mapnganib ang iyong binabalak!" her voice filled with almost genuine worry. That would do.

"Patawad Mahal ko. Ngunit kailangan ko itong gawin." I saw how her face flushed and slightly contorted at my words. That would definitely ruin our act. Maria Clara's face would not react that way. But I still continue and smiled. Here comes the best part.

"Hindi ba sapat na dahilang ako'y mahal mo upang ipagsawalang bahala mo ang iyong mapanganib na plano?"

"Stop nga." Sabi ko. She looked at me with disgust. I want to roar in laughter but I stopped myself. I need to act professionally. "Ulitin mo iyon. With emotions." Sabi ko, pinipigilan parin ang ngumiti. "Okay, okay." She said, almost to herself. "Wait lang." Aniya. Her eyes scanned the script and mumbled some lines. She closed her eyes and drew a sigh. She looked at me, with worry and love. "Hindi ba sapat na dahilang ako'y mahal mo upang ipagsawalang bahala mo ang iyong mapanganib na plano?"

And I almost believed. Her, calling me 'Mahal' because of this stupid project I came up with. I chuckled.

Deep within me, I know, i like her. But she's forbidden, like a fruit. She's my student. She's minor, very young.

I first saw her when she was ten years old. "Ako po si Sheena Peres." pagpapakilala niya sa harapan. She came from their province in Samar. And her family decided to bring her in the city. Dito narin siya itinala. I watched her grew, until she's fourteen years old. How she grow from a child into a young lady. I wished I can watch her development.

I visited their house every Sunday morning to fetch her to go to Church, because it's my duty. Her loving mother always dress her up and tie her hair. Magugulat nalang ako, habang naglalakad kami, tanggal na ang tali niya. Ayaw niya siguro noon. Gusto niyang laging nakalugay ang buhok niya. Tuwing nagsasamba, pansin kong lagi siyang inaantok. Hindi nakikinig. I understood that, she's so young.

Kapag napapadaan ako sakanila tuwing magdadalaw, hindi ko siya naaabutan sa labas, minsan lang. Sabi ng mga kalaro niya, she rarely get out. Her siblings said, she'd rather read a romance book than playing and acting like a chef. That's good for her.

When she turned twelve, dinoktrinahan na siya. I saw how eager and responsible she is. Gusto na niyang mabautismuhan. She changed. Kung dati, antukin siya, ngayon, masigla na siya. She became a full pledged member of our Church.

My first time teaching when I graduated Secondary Education, i chose their school. Buti nalang, naging estudyante ko siya.

"Ginoo, ano pong ibig sabihin ng 'pulot-gata'" tanong ng isa niyang kaklase. Mahigpit ko kasing ilinapatupad sa mga klase ko ang pagsasalita ng Tagalog lamang. I observed her face while answering. "Ang pulot gata, ay ang ginagawa ng mag-asawa sa unang gabi ng kanilang kasal." Nakatingin siya sa workbook niya at nanlaki ang mga mata niya. "Mas kilala ito sa ingles ibig sabihin ay, 'honeymoon'."

Her face contorted with disgust. Isinara niya ang workbook at inilapag ng pabalag sa desk niya. Hindi ko na napigilan. Madalas ko talaga siyang asarin sa klase dahil sa reaksiyon noya tuwing ang napaguusapan ay tungkol sa pag-ibig.

"Mukha ni Sheena oh." pangaasar ko sakaniya. Nagsitinginan naman ang mga kaklase niya sakaniya at nagtawanan. Umirap naman siya at muling binuklat ang workbook.

As the day goes by, I felt emptiness. Although I'm happy when I'm with her, I feel lonely in my profession. This is a personal and internal battle.

Ever since I started their project, she became close to me, physically. Lagi kaming nagkakasama. After class, after ng pagsamba. Even during their recess. Hanggang sa umugong na may pinagdidiskitahan akong estudyante.

I didn't like it.

Hindi ko iyon pinansin.

But I think she did. Sa tingin ko, kinausap siya ng isang teacher niya. I know she's avoiding me. I started to become more stressed at works. Mabuti at patapos na ang school year. I got burned out. And I also felt na parang may kulang.

I promised myself, ill get back. May kailangan lang akong gawin.

Her birthday comes. But she's not present in school. That's the last week. I already have a plan in my head. But she's nowhere to be seen. Four days, hindi ko siya nakita. That's a sign. Na ipagpaliban ko muna ang pagtatapat ko sakaniya.

I like her. But it's too early to admit that I love her.

Last day of school. I lost hope na makikita ko siya. But I saw her. She looked taken aback when she saw me. I smiled at her. Puno ng chocolate icing ang mukha niya. Mukhang her classmates prepared something for her.

Lumapit ako sakaniya at binati siya. I wiped some icing on her face and licked it. Mukha siyang nagulat sa ginawa ko at luminga linga pa.

"Happy vacation Sheena. I wish you all the best." Then I walked away.

That would be the last time I'm going to see her, for now. Tinawagan ko si Papa noong nakaraan na pupunta ako sakaniya sa Amsterdam at muling magaaral. I already left my apartment, took care of my papers in Church, and resigned in my work here. I'm done. All done.

Nakatayo ako sa labas ng sasakyan ko nang may biglang lumapit saking babae at niyakap ako. She's Maria Divina, my paternal twin. She's here because she's going to send me off. Nasa sasakyan ko narin kasi ang mga gamit ko, at diretso na ako sa airport.

"Okay na?" she asked. I smiled and nodded at her. "Sige na, sumakay ka na." Pinapasok ko na siya sa passenger seat. Nang maisara ko iyon, sandali pa akong tumulala. Tumingin ako sa gate. She's walking back at her room now.

I guess, this is it, huh?

-- THE END --