The Toxic Wasters

22. Any Moment

He had lost track of time. They told him the hole would be his home for the next week. But it felt like an eternity.

When Eren first arrived, he was pushed into a dark cell. The floor was damp and caked in dirt and there was no sign of light. He was surrounded by darkness and completely alone.

He knew he would be trapped here for an unforeseeable amount of time, his only human interaction would be between the officers as they brought his one and only meal each day. But above all else, he knew he needed to return to Levi as quickly as possible.

Eren didn't cause any problems, didn't fight when he was first pushed into the dark cell; didn't grovel for his freedom when he was brought his food.

If he didn't cause problems, he could return to Levi.

But the problems came to him.

Something festered in the dark, a black silhouette watching him from its perch by the wall. His heart seized up as he blinked away the figure. It was only a trick of the light—or rather the dark.

But the figure persisted, appearing everyday. Sometimes it manifested in his peripheral, and other times startling him in his sleep.

He had been alone for an unknown amount of time, the officers his only human interactions between the officers that handed over his food everyday.

He missed Levi, missed waking up with the raven settled in his arms, craved the feeling of his kisses, and wanting to hear the sound of his voice. If he could see his husband just for a second, just to ensure he was safe, his mind could settle until his time in solitary confinement finished.

And his subconscious exploited his wishes.

It happened at night—at least he assumed it was night beyond the four walls of his cage. Eren was tired, eyes drooping and vision bleary. He was close to passing out from complete exhaustion when he saw it. Another flicker in the shadows, a morphing figure emerging from a dark corner of the cell. A flash of pale flesh, and dark hair, and beautiful blue eyes.

"Levi?"

Eren startled awake, searching for the raven that he so desperately wanted to hold and kiss. But the figment was gone as quickly as it came.

Eren's heart sank, his body slumping in dejection. He felt cold, wishing the warmth of Levi could be pressed into him, he felt utterly alone. His mind was punishing him, and it was a worse punishment than his solitary confinement.

And his mind continued to torment him with the figment of his love. Most days he would see a flicker of his husband among the shadows, his heart seizing up each time, before misery weighed his shoulders down.

His mind also didn't stop when he shut his eyes. As the days passed, he felt as if nightmares plagued his mind. Nightmares of his husband being taken away from him. Grimy hands dragged Levi away from him every night as Eren was chained to the shitty cot he laid in every night.

Most nights, he'd wake up in a cold sweat with his husband's name heavy on his tongue. He'd wake up crying, so close to stopping the perpetrator who always dragged his Levi away, before the clawing hands of an internal clock awoke Eren.

He knew who's hands those were, his conscious awakening his fears by materializing Reiner in his nightmares. The blond stealing Levi away as Eren was helpless to stop it.

He didn't know if Reiner had returned to their shared cell, didn't know if he had been let out on good behavior, didn't know if he was currently tormenting Levi.

But Eren knew, once he returned to his husband, he wouldn't let the raven go.

- -

Levi knew it would be bad. The moment he watched the officers take Eren away, Levi knew everything would only get worse.

It started with his insomnia keeping him up most nights. With no more strong arms grounding him while he slept, he found it difficult to rest.

Reiner had also been locked in solitary confinement after a trip to the infirmary, and Levi felt lucky for that. If he had been stuck in a cell alone with Reiner and Bertholdt, he didn't know what would've happened; didn't want to think of what could've happened.

The days went by agonizingly slow, the nights even more so. Without Eren, his mind festered and kept him agonizingly aware of the shadows that surrounded him.

Every night, Levi would pray Eren would come back to him soon and calm the monsters that lived to torment him.

But Levi didn't believe in a god, and his prayers went unanswered.

His hallucinations only got worse, starting as flickers of red in black in the corners of the cell, before the full apparition began taunting him. Eren's presence had always lessened his tormentor's visits, would quell his anxieties and fears.

But Eren was gone, and his mind took advantage of his absence.

In the rare occasion he did sleep, he'd dream of Eren. He'd dream of long days wasting away in their bed at home, dream of Eren's warm touch; dream of the life they could have beyond the prison walls.

But all his dreams turned to nightmares. His red-eyed monster would consume his happy world, reminding him he didn't deserve the life he craved. The apparition would claw at Eren, red seeping into their perfect haven as Levi helplessly watched the life leave his beloved.

So, Levi decided sleep wasn't vital.

The prominence of the bags under his eyes weighed him down as he trudged through his mundane days. But it was better than the nightmares that always resulted in the end of his beloved's life.

But his exhaustion made his hallucinations worse. A carnival of his greatest fears came alive everywhere he went. And the voices in his head became louder as time crawled on.

No guardian angel to protect you

He never loved you

He's left you

He won't come back

"I'm sorry."

It was uttered quietly one day. Levi originally thought his mind was supplying it. But as he scanned the room, searching for the next hallucination that would greet him. But all that filled his gaze was a hunched Bertholdt on his bed.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, something like guilt swirling in his eyes. "I'm sorry Reiner is meddling in your relationship, and constantly making advances towards you."

Shock morphed Levi's features, his eyes widening and jaw unhinging. Levi had never spoken to the raven, he couldn't remember him ever uttering a word. But with his silence, Levi always thought he was complicit in Reiner's sick games.

"Everyone talks about what you and Eren did, and when I heard you and Eren would be my cell mates, I knew I didn't want to press any buttons, so I wanted to keep my head down around you guys."

"But Reiner..." Bertholdt shook his head, "he's obsessed with pissing Eren off...and," he gestured to Levi, waving his hand around to indicate what he wouldn't bring to words, "...with you, I'm sorry about it all."

"I've noticed you haven't been sleeping, and sometimes...you get this crazed look in your eyes that wasn't there when Eren was around. So, I'm sorry Reiner instigated everything."

Levi sat on his cot in shock, staring at his inmate while he searched for a response. He hadn't expected any of this, he hadn't even thought he would utter a word himself until his husband returned.

But a response finally found him. "It's...it's okay, there's no need to apologize," he muttered.

"I...I know, I just wanted to make my peace before Reiner returns."

"Have you...have you heard when they're coming back?" Levi asked, wanting to count the days down to Eren's return.

Bertholdt shrugged, "I heard Eren might be back next week, officers have been saying he's been showing good behavior...and I'm not sure about Reiner."

Levi let out a pent up breath at his answer, Eren was doing well. Hopefully he would be released soon, and the raven could be surrounded in his husband's embrace.