i think i've lost my chance...
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"Kei, love, is that you?" a girl's voice said.
Kei.... love....? I sat still. Who is she and why is she calling Kei love? "Yes, it's me. Who else?" Aura didn't see it but he rolled his eyes at her. I stood up abruptly. "Oh, Kei, who's this?" She said, and I could feel her stare at me. "I'm gonna go..." I said, and ran as fast as I could away from his house. "Aura-" he tried to reach for me but I pulled away. This is far enough, right...? Feeling far enough away to cry, it all came out. "He has a girlfriend and he didn't even tell me...." I whisper to myself. "She probably doesn't even know him like I do! She probably doesn't know what he does when he's nervous like I do! She probably doesn't know all his childhood stories! She doesn't know how he was acting today.. She doesn't know anything!" I scream out, tears streaming down my face and dropping onto the road. My heart is shattered. I don't know what to do with myself anymore.. Kei was my sense of familiarity. He helped me find myself and who I am.. Now I don't have him anymore. So who am I?
I ran home as fast as I could to try and avoid any possible schoolmates walking. I grabbed my key and unlocked the door. As soon as I closed it, I fell on the floor and started bawling my eyes out. I screamed out of frustration, anger, jealousy, sadness, and any other emotions one could feel at a time like this. "Aurora?" I heard my mom yell as she ran down the stairs. "Aurora! What's wrong?" She said as she ran to me. "Kei....." I couldn't breathe. I think my mom got what I meant and pulled me into her arms. "What happened..?" She said softly, as she fixed my hair. "He.... he has a girlfriend.." I said between sobs. "WHAT?" She yelled. "I know... I'm the only girl he can tolerate... I mean I was the only girl...." I said, wiping my nose. "I was going to give him the letter today after walking him home but when I was trying to get the letter the girl opened the door and said, "KeI, lOvE, iS thAt yOu?"" I made a face. My mom giggled but quickly stopped. "Maybe it was an aunt, or something.." My mom struggles to make me feel better when I'm sad because she's not used to seeing me like this. Sobbing, a big fat mess... Over a boy... I'd say it was stupid but this certain boy means so much to me... I thought I meant the same to him, but if he has a girlfriend who LIVES with him during our first year of high school then they must be oh, so serious about each other.
My mom made my favorite foods and invited the boys over to try and make me feel better but I didn't have an appetite. I didn't feel like talking anymore. When the boys all got to my house they knocked on my bedroom door, to which I didn't respond. I didn't have the energy to respond, I guess they could tell so they just came in anyways. "Aura...." Suga said while walking to my bed. He gave me a hug, and I felt a tiny tiny bit better. All of the boys gave me a hug and pulled me out of bed. "Let me lay in bed..." I said, rolling my eyes. "No! You need to cheer up! Saltyshima isn't worth it." Hinata said, and something clicked in my head. "Yes, he is..." I mumbled. Hinata's grip on my wrist loosened. "Aura-chan...." he sighed while looking starstruck at me. "He is worth it..." I murmured under my breath.
"How?"
My eyes widened. I looked up to see who said it and I wasn't the only one with that thought. It was Azumane-senpai. "W-what do you mean..?" I said. "How is he worth it if he broke you this bad?" He said staring at me, which made me uneasy. "Well... U-um..." I fumbled for words. That perspective is so easy to think of, but I never thought of it until he said it. "Exactly." He said, rubbing his chin. "He will never be worth enough if he breaks you and doesn't realize it. Only someone who's worthy of your love will realize how they've hurt you and they will work as hard as they can to fix it. If Tsukishima really is worthy, then where is he to fix things? Hm?" I started to cry again. "I spent all these years, falling harder and harder for him because he was always there to fix things, whether or not it was me or him who messed up. He was always worthy in my eyes." I tried to suppress the tears, but they just kept coming. "He always stood by my side if anything ever happened to me. Nothing bad could ever happen to me because he was by my side. He promised me that." I said, wiping the tears with my sweater. "If he promised you that, then why are you here crying without him?" Kageyama said to me. He grabbed my hand and said, "He's the only one stupid enough to take you for granted, Aura. He's the only one who isn't in love with you." My heart cracked a little more. It was a hard pill to swallow, you know. Your one and only love doesn't love you back... "I still can't do this." I didn't notice until now, but my hands were shaking, my body shivering.
"I don't know what to do, guys..." I whispered. "Kei made me feel whole. He made me feel like I could take on whatever I wanted. I've loved him since middle school. If I knew I'd lose my chance so quickly, I would've told him how I felt sooner..."
"i think i've lost my chance..."
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1005 words <3
