Hurting

Chapter 7

That was the quickest school has ever gone by. Ever.

Jordon met me at his car, where we'd organised at lunch, and he drove me to a small coffee shop just outside of town. We chatted on the car ride, but I knew he was just making small talk so that I would feel comfortable telling him.

"Don't worry, you can trust me."

The thing was, even though he was my only friend and my sort of boyfriend, I hadn't known him long enough to know if I could.

"Okay. I'm going to tell you, in exactly three minutes. I just need three minutes to prepare myself. I've never, ever told anyone this before, so count yourself lucky." I looked up at him after I'd finished speaking. He smiled a friendly, understanding smile, that made me know I could trust him.

"Sure, I'll grab us a coffee. I want to know everything when I get back. Your's is a latte, two sugars, right?"

"Right."

I sat in silence, trying to prepare myself for what I was about to tell him.

They were the quickest three minutes of my life.

Jordon riggled into the booth oposite me, and set my latte down infront of me.

"Okay. So the first thing you should know is that, the minute I found out me and my family were moving to America, I changed. Big time. I used to be bullied back in England. Badly. I wasn't the slimest of girls. Nowhere near as small as I am now. And I wore these pathetic glasses that made me look like such a dork. I was spotty, geeky, I had braces, I was basically your perfect definition of a nerd. And it nearly killed me.

"I learned to deal with things, and as I was losing weight, some of the guys at school began to notice me, in a good way, you know? But it turned out that they were just hormone crazed guys who wanted a little 'fun', and it pissed me off. There was so much going on in my life, I needed something to take the pressure away, and I started cutting. So that pretty much it."

"What exactly do you mean by cutting?"

"Like, Slitting my wrists, cutting. I don't do it anymore. I mean, after I moved here and became friends with Janet, there was none of the pressure anymore. I just, I hate my scars. That's why i flinched away earlier. It's not because I don't like you. Because I do." I smiled encouragingly, making sure he knew it was okay to ask me questions.

It wasn't, but I had to pretend that it was.

He looked slightly uncomfortable, and for a moment, I thought I'd scared him off.

"I had no idea. I'm -"

"Don't you dare say you're sorry." That, that just did it for me. I didn't tell him because I wanted pity, I told him because I trusted him, and he still gave me pity. And pity was usually what made me feel like shit.

I stood up, and walked out of the cafe, slamming the door behind me. Luckily, I had a ten dollar bill in my purse, which I pulled out as I walked towards the nearest bus stop. I got on the first bus, not caring where it was headed. I just wanted to get away before Jordon could come after me.

I don't think he ever did.

**

I pulled my mobile phone from my schoolbag, and saw that I had four missed calls, all from Jordon, and a voicemail. I dialled the answerphone number and waited for the message to start.

"Look, Laura, I really didn't mean to upset you. I've done something terrible. I need to speak to you. Urgently."

I cancelled the call, and dialled his number.

He picked up after two rings.

"Hello?"

"Jordon It's me."

"Laura, I've done something terrible. I didn't know what to do when you left, so I called my cousin and told her all about it. It never struck me that, umm, Your Janet, was umm, the same Janet that was my cousin."

"What are you trying to say?" I spat out.

"I, I told her everything and she put me on loudspeaker in the girls changing room after cheerleaing tryouts and they heard everything and I'm so sorry!"

I hung up.

I got off the bus.

And I ran all the way home, unable to see my hand infront of my face through my teared, blurry eyes.