It's Just Me

1 - Introduction

Erm, hi.

I guess I should introduce myself.

My name is Alexandria Dahlia Lovato and I’m 16, turning 17 on December 9th. But please, just call me Lexie.

I have three sisters.

Dallas is the oldest at 26 years old, Demi is 22 and Madison is 12 and turning 13 in a few weeks.

My mom is Dianna and I consider my step-dad as my real dad. His name is Eddie.

All my sisters have a special talent. Dallas acts and Demi sings. I wanted to be a part of a thing like that too but my biological father and my mom told me no. I don’t know why. Then when Madison came along, she got to act because Eddie convinced my mom to let her. He didn’t help me though.

I don’t really have the best social life. I’m not confident like my sisters. I have a few good friends here and there but mostly people are mean to me because I’m Demi’s sister and that I’m not famous. Especially the kids at school and ‘lovatics’ on twitter.

Surprisingly, I have a boyfriend. I don’t want him though. His name is Tanner and we’ve been dating for almost a year. Soon after we started dating, I figured something out. I wasn’t attracted to him.

I like girls. I’m gay.

God it’s weird to say but it’s the truth.

When I tried to break up with him he just said no. He started to get rough around me. Forcing me to do stuff and when I denied, he would hit me or hurt me in any way. One night he went too far though. He wanted me to have sex with him but I didn’t want to. I’d never before. Eventually, he got what he wanted. But I didn’t. He still does it to this day, forcing himself on me. I try to fight back but I’ve realized it only makes it worse.

The only real friends I have are celebrity friends I’ve met through Demi.

When I met the Fifth Harmony girls, we really hit it off. They still contact me to this day and visit occasionally. We’ve gotten really close.

Then there is Tess, my best friend. I talk to her about everything, she’s the only one who knows about Tanner. I love her like my own sister, probably more. I’m going to miss her so much. She has terminal cancer. Don’t even ask what kind, it’s bad enough she has cancer. Even though she’s sick, she always makes me feel better. When I come to her after I’ve seen Tanner, she comforts me and makes me forget about it all for a few hours.

The relationship I have with my family is rather weird. I don’t know how to explain it.

All the attention usually goes to my sister and their careers. I get attention though, too, even though they might have forgotten me a couple of times. You might think I would hate them for it but it’s actually the opposite. I love them with all my heart.

I know I shouldn’t since I’m Demi’s sister but I can’t help it. I have a strained relationship with food. It’s nothing serious, at least I don’t think so. I think a lot about my appearance. I don’t want people to find other ways to be mean to me. So I eat small meals and work out regularly. I also don’t purge, it ruins teeth.

All of the shit that happened in my life, I also… cut. Not deep cuts though. Since I care about the way I look, I only give myself shallow cuts and wait for them to heal before I do it again. I don’t want them to scar. I might have gotten carried away a few times. That’s the reason behind the long scar on my hip.

Seriously.

When did my life become so fucked up?

Oh right.

It’s just me.

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So hi! 

It's the new fanfiction I was talking about. 

Read it. Don't read it. Whatever you want.