It's Just Me

12

Tanner grabbed my hair and pulled my out of the bed and onto the floor.

“Why didn’t you come when I told you to!” he slapped me.

I whimpered. “I don’t know…” I spoke quietly.

“What?!” He then slapped me harder.

“I don’t know.”

He grabbed my face and pulled it closer to his. “When I tell you to come, you come. When I tell you to stay, you stay. You will listen to what I say and oblige! You’re a bitch and I’ll treat you like one.” He put his hand on my neck and raised me up.

He then walked me into the wall and smothered my body with his. I felt the bulge in his pants grow against my lower stomach and whimpered as he bit my ear.

I put my hands on his chest trying to push him away but it was no use.

He turned me around and pinned me to the wall with his body. My face was squished to the wall.

Her trailed his hand down my back and put it on my butt. He slipped it into my pants and put it on my front.

Next thing I knew I was laying on the floor with my pants down my knees. I heard him unzip his jeans and I tried to stop him by pushing his stomach.

He grabbed my hands and pinned them above my head.

“Tanner, please don’t.” I sobbed.

He grabbed my foot, his nails dug into it, and lifted it, positioning himself better.

Then all of a sudden, all the pain I had missed out on these past few weeks came back.

My head was aching.

I was nauseous.

I felt each and every one of my cuts.

My core was throbbing.

The worst pain of all, though, was the mental pain.

I hated myself.

This was all my fault. I should have told someone.

Tess died… my fault too.

Heck, I can’t even blame everyone for forgetting me. I mean, I forget myself.

I couldn’t take all the pain so I just screamed and sobbed.

I screamed until I couldn’t feel the pain.

I screamed until I was numb.

Tanner hit me because I wouldn’t shut up.

I think he hit me.

I’m not sure.

“Fuck Alex, I’m almost there.” He groaned. I felt his rough pushes come to a slow stop as he was breathing heavily.

I heard him stand up and pull up his pants. “I’ll see you later Alex.” He patted my cheek roughly before he walked out.

I didn’t move. I couldn’t. I was a mess.

Blood was dripping down my face and on to the floor. My pants were around my ankles and I was pretty sure my shirt was ripped. I could feel some of my cuts open and some bruises and scratches were forming.

My head was pounding and I felt myself slipping in and out of unconsciousness.

Was this how Tess felt?

Numb?

I felt myself going to slip out again so I just closed my eyes and let darkness take over me.