It's Just Me

4

I silently opened the front door to our family house and crept inside.

As I walked down the hallway, I tried to make small movements that wouldn’t make the pain worse.

When I woke up at the hospital, the bruises had gotten a lot darker and some had even formed on my wrists. Tess had helped me cover them up with some makeup and, trust me, it took a lot.

I heard someone run down the stairs and felt someone crash into me. I stumbled back and whimpered in pain.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” I heard my ‘little’ sister tell me as she hugged me tight.

I put my arms around her and squeezed her. “It’s okay.” I kissed her temple.

“I love you.”

“I love you too Mads.” I felt tears start to form so I pulled away. “Where are the girls?”

“They’re up in Demi’s room. Come on.” She started running upstairs. I stood still and she looked at me. “Aren’t you coming?”

“I’ll be up in a sec.”

“Okay.” She smiled and ran up.

After about ten, long, minutes I made it upstairs and to my bedroom. I threw off my jacket, grabbed the car keys Lauren had given me and went to Demi’s room.

I saw Demi and Dallas on the bed along with Ally and Normani while Lauren, Camila, Dinah and Maddie were on the floor, watching the TV. Probably a horror movie.

I threw the keys on the floor near the girls, making them jump. “Sorry…” I smirked and walked closer to them.

Demi looked at the girls on the floor. She then smirked. “Get her.”

I couldn’t even register what was happening before the girls lunged at me. Lauren straddled my waist while Camila held my left arm above my head and Dinah held my right. Lauren began tickling my sides.

I giggled slightly. “Lo stop.” I felt my smile falter.

There was something so familiar about this.

Not good familiar.

I felt my heart rate speed up and my breathing becoming irregular. “St-stop. Please stop…” I gasped. I tried to wriggle my arms and free myself from under Lauren.

I felt myself lose sense of what was happening around me. The only thing I saw was Tanner.

“Lex?” I heard Lauren’s faded voice and saw her concerned face replace Tanner’s. “Lexie?! Girls something’s not right.” I felt the pressure on my waist and hands disappear.

Tanner’s face reappeared. “Shut up!”

“LEXIE!” Demi’s voice rang through.

“I have a surprise for you.”

“She’s having a panic attack. Maddie go get mom.” Demi instructed. “Lexie, breathe. In and out, come on. Just breathe.” Her panicked voice echoed through my ears.

“Fuck Alex.” He grunted. “That feels so good.”

“What’s going on?” Mom… help.

“Just stay fucking still! I’m not finished!” Smack. “Stop crying!”

“Nothing’s working!”

Moan.

“Breathe.”

Grunt.

“Lexie.”

“Alex.”

Then black.

----

I felt fingers comb gently through my hair and realized my head was on someone’s lap. Demi’s smell surrounded me.

“Has she woken up yet?”

I heard a sigh. “No not yet.” I recognized Dallas’ voice and felt someone squeeze my hand.

“That was so scary. She’s never had a panic attack before. It was like she didn’t notice anything around her.” Demi said.

“You’ve never been this bad.” My mom said.

“God, this is all my fault.” Demi said.

“No it’s not Dem. We shouldn’t have been so rough.” Camila reassured her.

“But we weren’t rough.” Lauren said. “I don’t know what happened.”

“Girls, stop.” My mom said. “It wasn’t your fault. None of us know what happened or what triggered it. Only she does.” She sighed and her lips pressed on my forehead.

When I had completely woken up from my haze, I realized my head was throbbing. I whimpered and buried my head into Demi’s stomach.

“Oh my god… Lexie. You had us worried sick.” I think she saw my discomfort. “What’s wrong Lex?”

“Head…” I managed to squeak out. My voice was hoarse and raspy and it hurt to talk.

I heard some shuffling. “Here sweetie.” My mom handed me a glass of water and a tablet. I grabbed the glass and swallowed the tablet, mumbling a thanks. “You want to tell us what happened?” I shook my head no. My mom sighed. “Okay, get some rest.”

I just nodded and lay back down on the couch with my head in Demi’s lap. He fingers found their way back in my hair making me fall asleep within seconds.

--Demi’s P.O.V--  

“Do you think it’s the same reason as the nightmares?” Dallas spoke up.

“I hope not.” I said.

“What nightmares?” Lauren asked.

“Erm, a couple of months ago she started having these nightmares.” Mom started. “She never told us about what though. We just woke up in the middle of the night to her having one of them. We always tried to wake her up but nothing seemed to work so we would just let her sleep it out.”

“Wha- have you made her see someone?” Ally asked?

“We always discussed it but we haven’t heard anything in two months or so.”

“I wish she would just tell me what was going on.” I looked at a sleeping Lexie. I gently rubbed her cheek with my thumb and leant forward, whispering in her ear. “I love you. Please let me in.”