abhor | kyman

Chapter 1, Kyle

"Hatred paralysis life; love releases it. Hatred confused life; love harmonized it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it."

I remember being told this when I was younger, don't know who or by what but this has always stuck with me. Not to mention how it's affected my relationship ship with certain person in my life.

The fatass, I mean.

The stupid fucking fatass that plagues my life.

Don't get me wrong, I hate him! There's just something that's changed recently, more specifically my feelings for him. I still hate him, and no matter what I always will - but now, for some odd reason, I've grown more attached to him. Like I wanna be with all the time, I wanna know what he's doing, what he's thinking. Every thought I have always leads back to him. The stupid fat fuck with the same shit eating grin. I mean, he is my type after all. Light-dark hair, dark eyes, taller than me, and everything else that just screams Eric Cartman.

I like him, but I could never tell him. Why would I? He'd probably beat the shit out me and never talk to me again or tell the whole school I'm a homo, and I don't want that. So, I'm not telling him. Ever.

***

It's a monday morning, and we're at the school gates. Well more specifically, Stan, Kenny, Cartman, and I.

But today he seemed quite.. handsome to say the least. Cartman wore his favorite red hoodie, and I could notice that unforgettable smell of cheesy puffs from him. He wasn't wearing his hat and his hair was messy, like always. I don't think he ever really paid much attention to his hair really, but that's fine, neither to I.

They seemed to have indulged themselves in a conversation, one I didn't pay much attention to. I didn't really care to, so I stayed quiet.

Today is actually quite beautiful, it isn't as cold nor was there much snow today. It felt nice. The trees were blowing in the wind, and the warm sun hitting my face felt nice. I continued walking, not paying much attention till I felt a rush of pain hit my face. It took me second to figure out what just happened, I hit my face against the school wall.

All I could hear was the familiar booming voice that is Cartmans' laughter. I turn to see him propped up against the wall, holding his stomach as he laughs hysterically. No doubting that it was from watching me bump into the wall

"Shut up, Cartman!" I shriek as I cover my face with my hand. That really hurt.

"Yeah, well nice going, Jew! And it's good that you hurt your stupid Jew nose, maybe you'll be able to get rid of it."

I growled and crosse my arms, just as I'm about to argue back I notice Stan come over to me.

"You okay, dude?"

"Mm.. Yeah, I'm fine."

Stan sighs and nods. "Well, come on. Let's get to class."

I nod, rubbing my nose as I walk into the school.

"Oh! Are you coming to Tokens party tomorrow?" Stan asks, seeming rather cheerful.

"Erm, party?" I don't remember hearing about a party.

"Yeah! His parents are out for a vacation somewhere, so he's throwing a party. The girls said something about a birthday, but I don't know who's."

It sounds fun, but I know Cartman will be there and I don't want to deal with him. Then again, I haven't really been social with anybody but Stan in a while, so it does sound nice!

"Yeah okay, I'll see what I can do."

And just then, the bell rings signaling for us to all get to class.

I rush over to my locker, grab my books and stuff them in bag before starting to rush to class. Suddenly, I'm bumped into a taller figure. I look up to see Cartman, of course.

He scoffs. "A wall just wasn't enough, was it? Watch where your going, Jew boy." He flicks my forehead before walking past me.

Well, today's going to be a great day.

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ahh okay so - yeah i kinda did restart this chapter - but im much happier with it now! it is kinda off to a slow start again, but i like it! i hope you guys to do! and feel free to leave me feedback!

see you all soon!

xxx
cannon