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sitting around the beanbags with the girls, we all made it our priority to check in and make sure Shaughna was doing okay.
"what're you thinking?" Paige asked as Shaughna sighed.
"get me home," she admitted.
"no, Shaughna," Siannise said sternly.
"you can't leave us Shaughna. you came in here to find someone genuine, you didn't find that in Ryan-," Jess spoke for everyone.
"but that doesn't mean you won't find it in anyone else," Siannise pointed out.
"i know but it's just the thought of being here uncomfortable when i can be at home," Shaughna broke, the tears that she had been holding in falling once more.
with Jess moving to sit on the same beanbag as Shaughna, she comforted her as the rest of us stayed put, knowing that everyone smothering her would only bring unwanted attention.
"i just wanna be the happy one for once. it's never me, ever," Shaughna cried as tears continued to fall.
"it will be you though. someone else will come in, nothings over yet," i said as Shaughna sniffled.
"i'm always the girl to get mugged off every time."
"just know that it has nothing to do with you," Jess said comfortingly.
"i just miss how i used to feel."
"you'll get the feelings again but stronger with someone else," Jess spoke as we all nodded.
-
after the news that Shaughna and Molly would be going for a catch-up date, i lay down on the beanbags with Jess, Ched and Jordan.
"how weird is it not having the other boys? i actually miss their little faces," i said making the three agree.
"they would've made such good adjustments to the villa but it is what it is," Jess spoke from beside Ched.
"yeah. so how's you and Rebecca?" i asked Jordan who smiled a little at the mention of her name.
"things are going well, yeah."
"that's good. they two do look like a model couple, don't they?" i said as Jess and Ched both quickly agreed.
"how're you feeling about the Ryan and Shaughna situation? cause obviously you were really close to both of them," Ched said as i shrugged.
"Shaughna's my girl in here and to see her upset literally breaks my heart. i haven't even spoken to Ryan yet."
"have you not?" Jordan gaped.
"no. i will have a chat with him but i don't know, it's just still a bit awkward."
gathered in the kitchen, the girls and i all spoke about anything and everything before Shaughna and Molly came back from their day out.
walking over to us, Shaughna took a hold of Paige and i's hands, "i feel like i need to talk to my Paigey and little Angel."
"yeah that's fine, go and talk to them," Demi said as we walked away from the other girls. we walked down the stairs and sat on the little couch at the terrance.
"so how did it end with Molly?" Paige asked as we sat either side of Shaughna.
"she's genuinely like a lovely girl. i think she feels uncomfortable which obviously i get. he was apparently being very emotional with her like three days in, like opening up about all these emotions and stuff like that," Shaughna told us. "bringing her tea in bed. he led me to believe that we were on the same page and he's not. like how can you be someone for three and a half weeks and now all of a sudden we need to believe that this is the real you."
"like everything you're saying to us, you have to say to him," Paige spoke.
"yeah, like you can't not tell him cause then that's getting you no where. you have to just get everything out on the table."
"he's wasted my time. he thought that it was gonna be an easy ride with me, he's mugged me off and i'm not someone's mug. i will not be someone's mug again," by this point Shaughna got a little emotional making Paige and i come from each side and squeeze her into a hug.
"you're not anybody's mug. you are an actual diamond, Shaughna," Paige said as we wiped her tears from her face.
"it's so shit, Shaughna, it is. but you have to see that he wasn't the one and you have all of your life to go out and find someone to settle down with," i said as she nodded her head along with Paige.
"i think he does feel like he's messed up."
"it's just a shit situation," Shaughna sighed out.
outfit ;
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i joined Luke M on the sun loungers, wanting to check in on him but also wanting to keep my eye on Shaughna and Ryan who were also having a chat on the day beds.
"you alright?" i asked as i put my flute on the wooden floor.
"heads all over the place," he told me as i frowned.
"what why?"
"you obviously can't say anything to anyone else about this. but i just feel weird about the whole situation-"
"with Natalia?"
"yeah. i respect that she's taking it slow, i really do. but she literally walks past me and walks away whenever i'm trying to talk to her. like...i don't get it," Luke told me, a frown on his face.
"that's weird. to be honest, for a couple to work in here, you both have to give it fifty fifty. i'm sorry but she doesn't sound like she's giving anything, Luke," i told him straight, a chuckle leaving his mouth.
"i know, that's why it's so annoying. i am trying but i'm getting nothing back."
"my advice to you would be to stop trying. let her come to you. let her be the one to try. 'n if she doesn't, then..."
"then i know what to do."
- should Ryan and Shaughna get back together or should Ryan stay with Molly?
sorry for not updating in so long, i just lost motivation to write.
