Trapped in Active Depart // Billie Joe

[9] Beach

"He doesn't love me. He doesn't, why would he say that? I don't understand? Why would he say that I just-"

"-Harmony!"

"Yes?"

"Chill out!"

I took in a deep breath, "Sorry Sam."

She nodded. "So...?"

"So what?"

"Well, do you love him back?"

"Oh that's such a stupid thing to ask-"

"-do you do?"

"No!" I quickly denied. Getting up and leaving the room.

"Hey where are you going? We still have our game of jenga to finish!"

"I'm just making a cup of coffee Sam." I answered back turning the kettle on.

Same day he told me, just after work. After he told me he 'loves me' I denied he did and I left after he shortly after passed out on me. Locking his door for him and posting the keys through his letter box in his front door, leaving a note on the fridge.

'You came into work drunk, I took you home so you wouldn't get into trouble. But now I am, you owe me big Armstrong. Have fun with your hangover,'

I demanded Sam come over after work, even though she was angry with me. Which she did, and now I'm pretty sure we was alright.

So we was once again talking about Billie Joe over another one of our many games of Jenga.

I poured the hot water into my cup, adding coffee and sugar before joining Sam back on the floor in front of the tower which was still currently steady.

"So he loves you?" She asked.

"He doesn't love me, he thinks he does,"

"Well if he thinks he does he does." She shrugged taking out a brick from the top.

"No, he doesn't. He was drunk Sam and he didn't know what he was thinking. He doesn't love me, how could he? We haven't seen each other in years." I sighed, taking out a block of the tower.

"But isn't there that saying like 'drunk worlds are sober thoughts'?"

"Oh that's so cliché Sam I-"

"-but it's true is it not? Do you love him back?"

"He doesn't love me,"

"That's not what I'm asking Harmony. Forget for a second about what Billie said to you. This isn't about that, this is about how you feel. Now... Do you still love him?"

I went silent for a minute. Studying the tower, although it wasn't my turn and I was waiting for Sam to take her go. But I couldn't look up at her, because I feared she would see straight through me what I felt towards him. And I didn't want that, because I didn't even know what she would see.

Did I love him still? Or am I just still upset?

I didn't know myself. I hardly knew anything. Maybe I did and maybe I didn't.

"Har?"

"Yeah?" I asked looking back up. "Sorry, I must've zoned out,"

"Stop dodging my question Harmony. Do you still love him?"

"I......" I paused for a second. Before the phone rang from the kitchen. "I'll get it." I announced before quickly pushing myself off the floor and near enough running to the kitchen.

I heard Sam grunt loudly annoyed at me as I answered the phone not looking at the contact or the number. "Yellow?"

"Green," I heard him say.