Survival of the Fittest

Chapter Eight - The Photographer

I was starting to feel hopeless. I got separated from the group. I have no sense of direction. I don't have any survival skills. All I know is from movies. That is that drinking water is super important but don't drink the water you do find cause it will kill you. I don't know how to hunt or fish. I am completely useless.

I sat down on a tree that had fallen and dug my palms into my eyes. Calm down. Deep, steady breaths. Nothing will come from panicking. Sit down. Take stock. Come up with a plan. I emptied my pockets: just one tube of chapstick, some cash, and a few bobby pins. I sighed stuffing them back in unsure of how helpful that could actually be. I need to find a water source. Then I can worry about everything else.

I grabbed a large fallen stick to use as a walking stick. I can do this. My hand reached up brushing on the shark tooth necklace my girlfriend gave me before I left. My heart ached knowing how we left things. I had to get back to her. I had to tell her I loved her one more time.

-Flashback-

"What do you mean you have to go to Brazil?"

We were back in our tiny apartment in Toronto. Rosemarie was making dinner as she asked her question. I was as hopeless in the kitchen as I was with directions. If it weren't for her, I'd be totally hopeless.

"My boss is making me go because he wants some artsy pictures for this editorial he's doing on the beauty of the Amazon."

"You have no business being in Brazil. You need your GPS to go anywhere." 

"I know that but this could be an amazing opportunity. If I do this, that promotion is mine."

She sighed putting down the knife she was holding. Her fingers pinched the bridge of her nose like she was trying to get rid of a headache.

"You said that last time he made you go to Greenland because he wanted to do a piece on glacier interior design. He didn't even end up running the piece and you didn't get promoted. You got frostbite and almost had to get a toe amputated for nothing."

"Oh come on, like your boss doesn't ask you to do ridiculous things."

"She asks me to get her complicated coffee order from Starbucks. Your boss is asking you to put your life in danger! They are completely different things!"

She said it with frustration painted on her face. I get where she was coming from. I was frustrated too. I was tired of being sent all over the world. Some people may have a travel bug, but I do not. I want to spend my weekends curled up on the couch, but it was what I signed up for.

"It's my job. I don't have a choice. It's go to Brazil or lose my job. Most people would kill to have my job. It's not like a lot of places are hiring photographers."

"Losing your job wouldn't be the worst thing. You are going to be sunburnt the second you land. You are going to get lost and Brazil is a lot more dangerous than Canada. I don't want to be planning your funeral."

"Don't be melodramatic! I will be with a guide the entire time! You are always doing this. You treat me like a little kid who can't do anything for herself. I am an adult!"

"If it wasn't for me you'd be burning ramen every night you aren't lost on your way home from work five blocks away!"

We stared at each other silently. Both of us furious and not willing to back down; it was evident. I may be a people pleaser but I was nearing my limit of bullshit I was willing to take today.

"I'm going on a walk. I can't do this with you right now. I've had enough bullshit at work today."

I walked away grabbing my winter jacket. I left her alone just needing to clear my head. By the time I came back, Rosemarie was gone. There was just a note on the counter and a simple shark tooth necklace: I know it will be scary but I hope this gives you a little bravery. I went to my brother's place. I'll see you when you get back. I love you.