M I D N I G H T
I gripped a pillow close to me with shaking hands as I tried to calm myself down.
Breathe in... Breathe out.
My heart was pounding and everything was blurry due to my tears.
I was alone. I was all alone.
Breathe in... Breathe out. Breathe in...
Oh, fck.
Suddenly, one of my hands formed a fist and I began to hit my chest over and over again.
I was choking.
Tears won't stop streaming down my face while I struggle for air. Short gasps escaping me.
I have no one to rely on.
Letting myself fall back down, I took a pillow and covered my face with it.
And then I screamed.
I screamed my heart out.
The pillow was already starting to get wet with all my sweat, tears, snot, and saliva, but I could care less.
My screams were muffled but those gradually turned into quiet sniffles.
After a moment of silence, I finally relaxed.
I slowly let go of the dampened pillow and allowed myself to breathe in actual air.
I sighed heavily as I closed my eyes.
Every night... Every damn night, I'm always like this.
Having attacks at night is like my routine now.
Hmm, night cries...
It's kinda funny how my name is Midnight.
Sighing once again, I got up from my bed to go downstairs for a drink.
I didn't bother turning on the lights. I knew my way around this cold, lonely house despite the darkness.
The bright light from the fridge made me wince as I took out the carton of milk.
My hands were still shaking while pouring milk into a glass.
I just stared at my hands blankly.
Will I be ok someday?
When will that day actually come?
Hopefully real soon. I'm tired.
