Care || n.jm

🧸thirty seven🧸

"I don't think I heard that right, Lee Haneul. Let me move my bangs to understand that better." Ten sassed, a scowl on his face. The egg in his hand cracked due to his tight grip.

"Calm down, Ten. We need to hear her out first before you get angry." Taeyong spoke up, trying to calm his friend. He had him wash his hands and cleaned his mess. "You must have a reason, right? Is it okay if you share it with us?"

Haneul, who took refuge from Ten's fury behind Yangyang, nodded. 

"I thought about it for a while and realize I could cause his downfall. After everything he did for me I don't want to ruin his career. " She admitted. "He came back after a long hiatus so who am I to cause a problem again."

"And why do you think that you could ruin his career?" Yangyang asked. 

"I just know I could no matter how small the chance is." She muttered.

"You have a good point to be considering that. I'll give you that." Ten sighed. He looked over at her with stern eyes. "But you didn't consider how unfair this is to Jaemin, did you? You only thought about yourself in this."

"You're going too-"

"If I don't tell her then who will? I'd rather be the bad guy here than pretend to be a good guy, Taeyong." He snapped cutting him off. "Get out of the box they put you in and face reality, Haneul. I know it's okay to be selfish sometimes but this is too much."

"I have to agree with Ten on this one." Yukhei added, averting the attention to him. "It's better than comforting her and letting her have another regret for the rest of her life."

"As I was saying, I know you're thinking about Jaemin's career and all that and that's okay, but I think you should have considered Jaemin's feelings and what he wants to do more than that." Ten explained. "If he wants to take the risk and accepts the consequences then let him. It's better than regretting not doing it." 

"But the fans-"

"He clearly cares more about you than the fans." Yangyang pointed out. "If his career spirals down it isn't the end of the world. There's more than just being an idol." 

"True." Taeyong nodded. Haneul's bottom lip jutted out as she looked shamefully at the ground.

"Sweetheart, idols don't need to live only to please fans. They'll get choked up at trying to maintain the perfect image that they'll end up quitting." Ten continued, patting her head. "Plus, it'll be nice to weed out the fake and toxic fans. They sometimes forget that we're human too."

"So yeah, you won't be destroying his career or anything. There will be a little uproar but it'll die down."  Yukhei concluded. "I once heard that you'll know who your true fans are once you get married."

"Yes, now confess and get married." Ten deadpanned, earning a slap from Taeyong. "I was joking. Unless..."

"Ten." Taeyong warned. 

Yukhei got up and stretched, ready to help out in the kitchen team."I really hope that you see this as a step to break out of your trauma." 

"Trauma?" She parroted. She shrugged it off and decided to continue chopping the vegetables. As she was, a familiar brunette popped up in the corner of her eyes.

"Oh Jaemin. Did you need something?" Taeyong asked, walking up to the obviously distraught boy.  His eyes were glued to Haneul who tried to focus on cutting the vegetables.

"Johnny told me to call you over to help play with the kids." Jaemin mumbled.

"You're not helping out today?" Ten asked. 

"I'm not really in the mood. I don't feel so well." He answered. "I didn't sleep at all."

After their little exchange last night, he couldn't bring himself to sleep. His mind was plagued with thoughts of what he could have done wrong, but he didn't want to pressure her. 

Haneul's hand slipped, causing her to accidentally cut her hand. She let out a string of profanity as she stepped back. Jaemin was about to run to her side but stopped when someone else beat him to it. 

"Are you okay?" Yukhei blew on her cut and quickly grabbed a tissue. "The first aid is in the cottage. Let's go."

Haneul and Jaemin locked gazes as she left, both trapped in their own little world. He was desperate to talk to her, to be the one at her aid, to be anything as long as he had her.

Yet his tongue was tied and his feet were frozen. 

His heart was heavy as he watched her disappear into the cottage. He felt Taeyong pat his head in an attempt to comfort him. 

"Don't worry. She'll come back around."

🧸🧸🧸🧸🧸🧸🧸

Haneul's eyes were glued to the children's book that rested on the table. The digital clock flashed 4:44 AM yet she still hasn't slept a wink. 

Not after reading the book Renjun had her read to them. Not after the talk she had with the Ten and the others.

Restless, she changed out of her pajamas and into a black shirt and denim shorts. She put her shoes on and stood in front of the mirror. 

Her hand reached for the scissors and she didn't hesitate to cut at her hair. It felt refreshing to cut her hair after two years. She brushed stray hairs out and fixed it.

She made her way out of the room and was surprised to see Jaemin sleeping beside the door. He was seated on the floor, his head falling forward from time to time. 

"I'm here for you. You can share your burden with me."

"I promise that I'll be here every step of the way."

"I'm not leaving you here or anywhere."

"Why did you sleep here?" Haneul silently questioned. She took a pillow and a blanket from the cabinet. She placed the pillow on the floor and carefully laid him down. She put the blanket over him. 

"As long as I make you happy, I can do everything for you." 

"I'm sorry, Nana. I need to do this for myself." She leaned down and kissed the corner of his swollen eyes. She pulled back and brushed his hair away from his peaceful face. "I love you, Nana."

Haneul got up and left the cottage. She quietly made her way out of the resort and waited for a taxi to arrive. Soon enough, a taxi pulled up and she didn't waste any time getting in. 

"Where to?" The driver asked, looking at her through the mirror with her emerald green eyes.  Haneul opened her messages and showed the address to the driver.

"I know it's close, but can you drive me around the city for a while?" Haneul requested. There was a lot of time before she needed to get there and decided to use it as a chance to clear her mind.

The driver smiled and nodded. She pulled her mask up, covering the freckles that decorated her cheeks. She raised the volume of the radio and continued to drive. 

"I could do about anything, I could even learn how to love like you... Love like you. Love me like you."

A/N

I wonder where she's going hmmmmm 

I swear don't kill me yet, the next few chapters will make it up to you