Black Rose • Mikaelson

9. Have you lost your mind?

"HAVE YOU ABSOLUTELY LOST YOUR mind?" Niklaus yells.

I just sit on the couch, watching as he paces the room. Ivonna sits on the arm of the chair across the room as she watched as Niklaus completely explodes. She exploded when she first heard my decision too but eventually got over it. At least once she heard the reason. She tried to talk me into at least keeping my witch side. I told her I'd think it over. However, the truth was I had decided long before telling her the reason that I would stay a witch.

"Calm down, my love." I stand.

Nik shoots me a look that shows he has no real intentions of calming down. Apparently this tantrum couldn't wait any longer.

"Leave Nadia alone, Niklaus." Elijah says.

"You can't force her to change her mind, Klaus." Haley chimes in.

All eyes fall on a pregnant Haley who's standing in the doorway. Niklaus' anger doesn't seem to cease, he's still waiting for me to answer his earlier question. Then his voice drops and his eyes fill with barely noticeable tears. But I notice.

"Just tell me why." Niklaus whispers.

Ivonna and I share a look and then our eyes fall back on Haley. I'm trying really hard to keep my own tears at bay. Ivonna stands from her spot on the couch, ready to defend this choice on my behalf. A couple seconds later do I finally find the strength to stand myself. I try to keep it from being so obvious that my chest is constricting, making it very very hard to breathe.

"I can't do this with you right now, Niklaus. Ivonna will give back my powers but I'll only be a witch and nothing else." I shake my head.

With one last lingering look, I allow Ivonna to wave her hand and we are back in the comfort of our own home. Ivonna knows my next move before I even do and is quick to catch me as my knees give out from under me. All the emotions I first felt when finding about Niklaus' unborn child come rushing back to me. They make my chest feel constricted and it's suddenly so very hard to breathe. In the last couple weeks I have known human emotion quite unlike I have ever. I expected Niklaus' anger, what I had not expected was my own pain wrapping its hands around my throat.

Ivonna eases the both of us to the floor as she clutches my body to hers. Without my magic, she can't feel the very pain that's eating me alive. And yet, somehow she knew exactly what I was feeling. At one point in our lives, Ivonna did love someone so greatly he lit her soul. Ivonna holds me quietly as I cry into her chest. I couldn't admit out loud why I refused to turn back. Not when I would have to admit exactly how I felt when finding out Niklaus was having a child with someone else.

"Am I losing my mind?" I ask, sitting back on my heels.

Ivonna just looks at me for a long moment, never saying a word and leans up to wipe off the tears on my cheeks.

"I haven't been just a witch in a thousand years, and there are still people who want my amulet."

"Look at me," Ivonna grabs ahold of my face and makes sure my eyes meet hers. "You are the strongest person I know, and you have a coven of magic in your amulet. Not to mention, I will never let anyone hurt you. Niklaus can not take this decision away from you."

Just as Ivonna let's go of my face, Niklaus walks in. Ivonna sends me a sweet smile, and grabs ahold of my hands. In a few moments, Ivonna gives back my magic and stands to leave the two of us alone. I honestly don't know if I want to be left alone with him. I take a deep breath and stand up from the ground. Niklaus has tears in his eyes, and he just stands there looking at me. I cross the room and melt my body into Niklaus'. When I look up at his face, there's tears in my eyes again.

"I want kids, Niklaus." I admit.

Niklaus is silent at my confession.

"A little girl that shares your smile and my eyes. A little boy that is the exact copy of you. I want to teach them magic and how to love someone wholeheartedly. I want to teach them that monsters are real, but their daddy is a knight that slays dragons. I want to tell them about my parents and the greatest love I have ever known."

One of the tears in my eyes have fallen freely down my cheek. I untangle myself from Niklaus and take a couple steps back.

"I don't know if I can do that if I go back to being a hybrid. . . And as much as it pains me to say this, I want this bad enough that you don't have to be the father to my kids if I have to choose you over having kids."

I watch as all breath leaves Niklaus at my words. We've walked away from each other countless times but neither of us have imagined building a life with someone else. We didn't imagine living out our dreams with other people. I know Ivonna can feel my heartbreak as she sits on her bed, trying her best to ignore the two of us. I wonder if she ever wanted a child with Ethan — or anyone, for that matter. I wonder if she would have given up anything to have them. Niklaus just continues to stare at me and his words from earlier bounce around my head.

Have you absolutely lost your mind?

Have I? I keep wondering and asking myself, if I have. I can't find the answer — I suppose I wouldn't be the greatest person to answer the question anyway. Maybe I have lost it, in my honest unprofessional opinion I would say I have. Because who in their right mind walks away from a love this great. A love that has lasted — despite a lot — for over a thousand years. I take a deep breath and step closer to Niklaus once again. I place my hands on his cheeks and bring his lips to mine. Niklaus brings his hands up to my hips.

"I love you. And I'm not ready to say goodbye — not yet. I just want you to know, that this is what I want." I press my lips to Niklaus' again.

Even when my hands drop from Nik's cheeks, his hands stay on my waist. He just stares at me, not saying anything. He hasn't the entire time he's been here.

"Okay." Niklaus speaks up.

"What?"

"Okay."

"Okay what? Stop saying that."

"You want kids."

Niklaus pulls me into his chest and just holds me there. I completely break down in his arms. I can only imagine what my face looks like. Tear streaked and red and puffy. After a few minutes, the tears stop and I pull back from Niklaus. He never really lets me go fully.

"You make it so hard to hate you." I admit.

"And you make it so easy to love you." Niklaus smirks.

I glare at Niklaus and he takes hold of my chin, raising it as his lips come down to meet mine. The kiss lasts for what feels like an eternity and my lips still feel it when he pulls away. I run my tongue across my teeth before taking my bottom lip in them. Ivonna clears her throat behind us, causing Niklaus and I to pull away from each other. Ivonna rolls her eyes, trying very hard to keep the very sarcastic words in her mind from leaving her lips.

"I want to give you everything you want, even kids. But can't you be safe until that happens?" Niklaus points out.

Ivonna and I both glare at him for several moments, as we both run his words over and over in our head. I roll my eyes before whispering the spell that gives back my immortality. I now know the answer to Niklaus' earlier question: I have lost my mind, but not when I came to the decision of staying human but when I fell in love with him.