Black Rose • Mikaelson

17. Recorvery takes time

Ivonna Petrovich

"SHE NEEDS TO DEAL WITH THIS BACK home, Nik." I run my hands through my hair.

"She is home, Ivonna." Niklaus slams his hands down in a fit of rage.

"No. Back in Rome, Niklaus."

His full name trembles with the rest of my words. His eyes are filled with tears — sad or angry ones, I'm unsure. Nadia was really the only one of us to ever see Nik's tears. A side only meant for her. Nik shakes his head, disagreeing with me. Then, he sends his fist flying into the wall. His reaction to the news would be much different if it was coming from Nadia herself. However, she hasn't left her bed in a week. She cries herself to sleep each night and despite having the knowledge that Niklaus is alive, she has nightmares of me ripping his heart from his chest night after night.

"We often cave to certain impulses in fits of pain or anger. We lead our minds to believe certain things when our conscience is twisting the blade of guilt so deep it's unretrievable. I'm truly terrified Nadia in her fits of pain and anger and guilt and self loathing will lead her to do something much worse then turning it off." I frown.

Niklaus meets my eyes with fear, worry and confusion in his own. He knows exactly what kind of things emotions can lead us to do. However, he doesn't understand what's much worse that an immoral, emotionless Nadia.

"Worst such as what?" Niklaus shares my frown.

"Unlinking us so when she pulls my mother's blood from her body, we won't both die."

I can hear Niklaus' heart stop. When I killed him, it was with the knowledge only a white oak stake could kill an original. However, it is both our knowledge that my mother's blood can and will kill Nadia. I give Niklaus my most apologetic smile. I felt what Nadia was going through on a physical level, but it was dulled due to the fact it wasn't my pain. The pain Nik is feeling is truly his and his alone. He's terrified to lose her for good, he nearly did. In this fragile state, anything could take away that last piece she has to give until she's empty.

"I know you are afraid to lose her, I am too. However, sometimes we have to swallow down our own fears."

"She said her biggest fear was loving me, mine is losing her."

I'm silent, I wish I knew how to tell him how to swallow that down. Nadia made Niklaus a better person — and worse person depending on the situation. I give Niklaus another apologetic smile and leave him standing there. No amount — even if I had none — would take the fear. When I get home, as expected Nadia is curled up in bed. However, her bags are sitting next to the door and she's finally dressed in actually clothes.

"Are you ready?" I question.

Nadia just nods, using all the strength she has to pull herself out of bed. I realize this is the longest I've ever gone without hearing her voice. It breaks my heart. In what seems like slow movements, Nadia picks up her bags and makes her way down the stairs. She never says anything to me — it stays that way our entire trip back to Rome. I want to know what she's feeling. What she's thinking, but she won't tell me and it feels inconsiderate to figure it out myself.

Breanne is already standing at our front door in Rome. I send her an apologetic smile as Nadia just slides past her and into the house. Nadia has already made it up the stairs by the time Breanne and I make it through the front door.

"How bad?" Breanne asks.

"As bad as it gets. She's dealing with the guilt of what she did, the lost of the love of her life and the betrayal of what I did, all in one unsteady explosive." I frown.

"And you're sitting around waiting on the explosion."

I look over at Breanne, as if she could read minds as well. My lips drop into an even deeper frown. That's exactly what I'm waiting on. Breanne and I take a seat on the couch and my frown turns into a serious expression. I drop my voice to a whisper as if Nadia was actually trying to listen.

"Niklaus knows about her amulet." I whisper.

"What? All of it?"

"All of it."

"B-but how?"

"A young witch told when she used it to wake me up."

Breanne just stares at me. Hiding a secret about an entire coven of magic was one thing. It was its own dangerous secret. However, hiding a secret about an entire blood line of magic was every dangerous secret multiplied by a thousand and rolled into one. That much magic could make it possible for a vampire to get pregnant or make its own cure for vampirism. One spell and every immortal creature could have what was taken from them.

"But Nadia is okay." Breanne points out.

Physically okay. At least.

"The witch channeled it, didn't exactly utilize the magic as she would need to for another moon curse or curing vampirism. . . Or Niklaus would of never let it happen."

My vision blurs and I drop myself into the closest seat. I can feel Breanne at my side when my vision completely darkens. The vision comes in slowly, and makes me think it won't happen at all.

Nadia is standing in front of Niklaus. She wears a seductive smirk and runs her tongue along her teeth. Nadia's lips are swollen and red from whatever happened moments ago. Most likely the reason for the smirk. Niklaus himself is disheveled, but despite the lack of a shirt has a deep frown.

"A dark twisted part of you — which I know you have — doesn't want me to turn it back on." Nadia smirks.

Niklaus frowns harder, not denying nor agreeing with my sister's words. He can't exactly agree or he'll have to admit to that dark twisted part everyone's been pointing out for centuries. He can't deny it either because Nadia knows him so well — denying would just be lying.

"I don't turn it on — solves your Ivonna problem. You won't have to worry about my feelings getting hurt — I don't have any. You do have to worry about me getting bored though." Nadia points out.

"You wouldn't be standing here if you got bored of me." Niklaus admits.

Nadia doesn't say anything to Nik's statement. She tilts her head to the side as if a puppy looking for an odd sound. However, she looks nothing of an innocent pet. Condescending, maybe. Niklaus knew deep down, she could get bored of him. She had no emotions tying her to him — nothing to keep that from happening. Nadia takes a step closer to Nik and holds his gaze. With no emotions, everything was a game to her. She runs her hand softly along his jawline. It takes everything in Nik not to cave. He holds his frown well. Then suddenly, Nadia wraps her hand around Nik's throat yanking him down to eye level.

"How do you know I'm not already bored?" Nadia wears her smirk like a permanent tattoo.

I gasp for breath, the sudden change of feeling absolutely nothing and then everything too great of a shift. My cheeks are wet with tears, most likely resembling Nadia's after having to relive that memory. My mother was not lying when she said you forget about everyone you've ever cared about when turning it off. I was always convinced Niklaus meant a hell of a lot more to Nadia than I did. To think she didn't give a damn about either of us with no humanity — regardless of who she cares for more. When I finally get my heart rate to slow, I notice Breanne still sitting next to me.

I collapse into her arms because I don't know what else to do. I don't know how to help my sister through this. There's several emotions slamming into her at once. Guilt, pain, anger, betrayal, sadness. And no doubt, heartbreak. Heartbreak for the man she thinks won't love her after this. Nadia won't even talk to me, I doubt she'd let me comfort her. Especially when I'm the reason she feels so much betrayal. I hadn't even found the courage to apologize for Ethan. I don't know what to say or do to make any of this better.

How do you fix someone you put the last crack in before their break? How do you glue back fragile China so it looks whole again? She hasn't even spoken in two weeks. She's gone mute.

Recovery takes time.