Black Rose • Mikaelson

21. All Mikaelsons in one place

Love is giving someone the ability to destroy you, then trusting them not to.

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VULNERABILITY IS TERRIFYING, LOVE IS vulnerability in a pretty package. I have felt both equally and at separate times. Right now, I feel both staring at Niklaus across the room. I also know that I feel undeniable burning anger from Ivonna not too far down the French quarter. She's still angry at the turn of events that happened only a few nights ago. A few months ago, I would have given anything to Niklaus, for Niklaus and I would have done it without hesitation. I'm not sure if that made me undeniably in love or undeniably stupid.

The person I have become now, after these last few months — I'm not sure if I would still do it. And that, terrifies me the most. Ivonna doesn't share this pain, and I suppose she's never truly loved someone enough to do anything for them. Ethan didn't count, she loved him but she drew the line on the things she would do for him. I was no longer mad with Ivonna, truly I was never really mad. She did what she believed was right at the time, even if she had to feel vulnerability in order to do it.

But I suppose you have to love the man. . . and the monster. In a blink of an eye, Ivonna is standing in front of me. The frown she wears, I imagine I match like a reflection in the mirror. But for two very different reasons. The anger I felt from her moments ago has shifted into an entirely different emotion, one I can't quite read. Niklaus spins around to watch Ivonna stare me down. He watches in silence as my sister just continues to frown.

"Are you okay?" Ivonna's words are a small whisper, if it wasn't for incredible hearing abilities it would have carried away with the wind and we would have missed it.

Now my frown is for the same reason as hers. My humanity is back on and so is the link that connects us in ways two separate people should never be connected. Even when I do my hardest to ignore them, we all can hear the thoughts in the deepest crevices of my mind. The thoughts Niklaus isn't prone to. I could answer that I'm okay, but we'd both know it's a lie. I've felt the desire to give up pulling me back to a darkness I barely survived when it was over. However, the only feeling back then was artificial and neither love or vulnerability. I would take artificial over this any day.

I regard Ivonna for a few silent moments. My eyes flick to those of my lover. He's watching me, waiting for an answer everyone is waiting for, anticipates, hopes for.

"No one ever asked if I was okay before, even when they did things they knew I wouldn't be okay with. Now, after. After I did the one thing no one thought I would ever do — that I promised I wouldn't, you ask more times in one day than breaths I take. Stop asking, then maybe I'll stop lying." I breathe.

Ivonna holds her breath, taking in my words. There were different levels to not being okay.

"In 1790 I gave you the option. You had the choice to choose the man you loved and I would have been okay. It would have taken time to figure out what I wanted afterwards, without Niklaus. But I would have been okay. You couldn't even extend the same curtesy, because you wouldn't have been okay. Now you are projecting your guilt onto me as if I'm the one that's barely surviving."

"Nadia. . ." It's a breathless whisper that's filled with all the guilt she holds.

"And Niklaus, I trust Esther about as much as I trust I'll survive a lifetime without my amulet." I frown.

Nik makes no move towards me. I doubted he would, you can't soothe away these feelings.

"Nothing goes right when every single Mikaelson is in one place. You say you trust Kol, I trust your decision."

I run my hands through my hair, trying to gather all my feelings into one place. It's take a minute to get them where I need them.

"Where are you going?" Nik asks.

"To get some air."

I take a walk through the French quarter, clearing my mind as best I can. I stop by a herb shop and grabs a few ingredients to make a calming tea. As I'm stirring my tea, someone sits down with me blocking the warmth of the sun I was actually enjoying.

"I was actually enjoying my own company." I frown.

"Well, that's too bad, Nadia." Cassidy shrugs.

"You and your brother still sired to me?"

"No, but he's still in love with you and that has the same dangerous effect."

"Sired to me, in love with me, fascinated with me — tell him to get in line."

Cassidy eyes the herbs sitting next to my glass, and then the tea itself.

"I sometimes forget you use to be a witch."

"Hmm. . . Why are you still in New Orleans, Cassidy?"

Cassidy reaches across the table and places her lips to my cup of tea. She swishes the warm liquid around on her tongue before swallowing and making sound sort of hmph noise.

"To ensure my sire isn't killed in some stupid war." Cassidy admits.

"Even if this stupid war wipes out every supernatural creature in New Orleans, I ensure you I will not be one." I laugh.

Cassidy makes another hmph noise before standing and leaving me to my peace. I watch her walk away as I drag my finger around the rim of my glass. It seemed everyone was worried about me for their own benefit.

Ivonna Petrovich

"What are you still doing in New Orleans, Cassidy?" I ask.

"If I didn't know there was two of you, I wouldn't be able to tell the difference." Cassidy admits.

I take in her appearance — her features, her skin, her clothes — something has changed. I'm not sure if it's calculating or petty — yet. I wait for her to answer my question.

"We have aligning interests, Ivonna."

"Which is?"

"The safety of your sister."

I take in her words for several moments.

"This is the Mikaelsons war. Let them have it, no need for the Petrovich twins to get involved." Cassidy points out.

"Where's your love-sick puppy dog brother?" I question.

"I don't keep up with Cameron, I just make sure he says as far away from Nadia as possible. Danger has befell every man that has set his sights on her."

It's a true statement, Niklaus could get a bit jealous. Of course, it was due to his own insecurities rather than Nadia's actions.

"You're no longer sired." I state.

Cassidy ignores my statement and continues with this grand proposal she's brought to me.

"You don't lose a sister, I don't lose my life or my brother. It's a win-win."

"You'd be dead, you won't know you've lost your brother."

I see it all over Cassidy's face. The one thing she won't admit — she's too proud to admit. She doesn't want to die, she's afraid too. No one wants to die, and yet to be what we are we all had to.

"I remember what she saved you from. To think she did all that, just for you to be afraid of death." I laugh.

"We can't all be you and Nadia."

"Which means?"

"You were powerful witches before you were original vampires. You could always protect yourselves."

"So how do you propose we keep Nadia safe?"

"To ensure my safety apart from hers, I'll let you decide."

I watch Cassidy walk away. I let our conversation sink in. They must of broken their sire when Nadia was an emotionless bitch for those weeks. We both knew the only way Nadia would stay out of this was if she was in some corner of the world with no recollection of Niklaus Mikaelson.