When The Sun Came Up, You Were Gone

Touch Me More(3)

Dominic's POV

The bell went off, scaring me. I didn't realize it, but I had been zoned out the entire class period. Packing up my stuff, slowly, I get ready to leave for my next class, "Dominic?" Mr. Christian was holding a phone to his chest, "The front office wants you."

Confused, I just nod and go off. It's been about two weeks now since I've seen Noah. He hasn't given me a call nor has his family sent me anything. Every now and then I'll drive past his house to see if that medical car was there, but nothing. Whenever I went for late night drives, I found myself going by his house about four or five times. I'm constantly wondering how he's doing and when my phone rings, I instantly check to see if it's something about him. The school knows nothing about his condition, only adding to my frustration. It's like he's in a whole different place and it's been driving me insane.

Once I got to the office, the principle came out of his office, "Dominic, come over here please." For a moment I was curious, why does the principle need me. When I entered, there was a high schooler, a girl with crazy hair. She stood up, "This is Miss Kendra Roman, her brother is Noah Roman, a friend of yours if I'm correct."

She lifted her hand to me, "It's nice to meet you Dominic... my brother told me a bit about you." I just stared at her, surprised.

My chest closed in as I whispered, "He... He can't be dead... no."

"Oh no!" She shouted, "No! He's still alive! He's in the hospital right now, but he is very much alive." Finally I was able to breathe, no longer having this crushing feeling, "I'm so sorry for scaring you! I came because my brother wants to see you."

"Huh? He wants to see me?" I narrowed my eyes, "I thought he couldn't have visitors."

She went between her feet, staring at the floor, "He isn't supposed to but... but he wants to live his life to the fullest right now." She looked to be fifteen, maybe sixteen. If I'm right, Noah is two years older than her and he should be turning eighteen this year... that means she sixteen or almost at least.

Gripping my backpack's strap, I wanted to hug her. As she stood in front of me, her head hung low and eyes dark, I saw Gracie. They both shared at misery... the misery of losing something. I cleared my throat, "Is right now okay?"

"You can't leave while school is in session!"

"I'm eighteen sir," I said, "by law, I am a legal citizen and if I choose to leave school I can." I turned to Kendra, taking a step closer and squatting down a bit to see her face. Smiling as big as I could, I said, "I would love to see him right now, if that's alright?"

~

I followed her around the hospital, my heart racing a bit. When we came to the door with his name written on it, I just stared at it. Would he be connected to millions of tubes, maybe barely conscious. What would he look like? Will this be the last time I see him?

"Are you coming?" She held open the door.

I blinked a couple of times, nodding. When I entered, Noah was staring out the window. Not a million tubes coming in and out of him. Actually... he wasn't wearing anything but the gown and a few tubes. Reminding me, "Oh... can I get a mask and gloves-" "No," he spoke up, his voice a bit raspy, "thank you Kendra." He was smiling, a smile I could truly see not assume. His sister left us alone.. just us... like we were in his fort. Weary of coming close, I remained near the door, not touching a thing, "You can come over."

"I'm not wearing anything to... you know."

For a split second a frown came onto his face, but before I could say anything, he turned back to the glass, "I'm not wearing them anymore and I don't want anyone else wearing them."

"Why?" I shouted a bit.

"Because I refuse to be the boy in a bubble anymore," he shouted back. Our eyes remained connected, but in his was... he was serious. He didn't care what could happen... no... he meant it, "I am dying and I will be gone soon, so why continue like that? I want to be able to hug my sister, hold my mom's hand and have my dad pat my head. I want to touch the grass and see everyone's smile!"

"But... you... no," my hands balled up. Squeezing my eyes tightly, I felt this feeling of anger, but more than that. Like it was boiling in me. I wanted to just smack a mask onto him, wrap him in plastic and demand he try to get better. I didn't want to hear about him getting sick... I didn't want to sit here and listen to him talk about dying... I don't want to fucking hear it.

"Dominic," I got still, so very still. When he coughed, I immediately sprung up, getting close to him. I was beside his bed, seeing him cough up blood. Grabbing the tissue box, I gave it to him, hoping to god it would stop. When it subsided, I realized how close I was and was about to move until he grabbed my hand. Our skin... it was touching... something I have never felt from him. Yes... I've held others... done things with others, but him... never have I even hugged him properly. The weakest smile I had ever seen came onto his lips, "Dominic... please don't be afraid of touching me anymore. I'm not afraid... I want you to touch me." He lifted my hand to his cheek, pushing it against it. He was soft, smooth even. From there he brought it to his hair, fluffy and messy. Then he pulled it down, intertwining our fingers, "Not once did I ever think I would be able to hold anyone again... but... but now I never want to stop. I might be disgusting to you. My skin is ungodly pale, I'm basically skin and bones... I have needle marks covering me, and to top it off... I'm dying. I'll be gone before you know it, so I want to spend it with the people I care about." He began to cry, his voice cracking even more, but that smile remained, "I don't know what this feeling is, but I really like it Dominic. I feel so happy when you're around, I feel... I feel whole. I'm not lonely anymore... I'm not cold anymore. So... I know it's selfish of me to ask, but please... please touch me more... before you can't touch me ever again."

Taking him into my arms, I sobbed.

Not sure either what I was feeling, I just held him, squeezing him so tightly that I thought he might just snap.

Together.... we cried.... holding each other....

Like it was the last time.