The Man Above The Boy Within

Peaceful War

Lately I've been losing me,
Although I'm trying to hold on,
Always portraying that I'm so strong,
But maybe I'm not who I thought I was,
I've never been the one to give up,
Never the one not to try,
So what's different this time?

I wait with an impatient patience,
Wondering how long I can wage war,
How long myself and the universe will war,
Waiting for the many sunsets until someday,
Surviving to live till another sunshine,
In all my dreams before my helpless sight,
I pray each night for the peace,
One I need in my heart.

I need it before I tear what friendships I have apart.

I want to be able to simply laugh at a joke,
I want help before I lose all hope,
I'm fighting a war within myself, and I'm so tired,
The world has gone mad,
With so many goodbye notes left in pieces,
Some days it doesn't hurt much,
Distractions, distractions and destruction,
Anything to not be in the dark?

The silence, the contemplation, the order,
I need them, the outside world isn't enough,
I want a zen but the world is overwhelming,
All these years fighting to find myself,
It's all a big mistake and I have nothing to show,
It's a big hoax and all I do is choke,
I think I'm finding myself but not in my home.

Family makes me feel alone,
Friends make me mundane,
Me makes me feel alive,
Just enough to battle this terror,
Vying from this madness,
Nonetheless ceding to it reign,
This peril within me, this turmoil,
This plague that runs my mind,
There is always war,
I can hear it in my heart.

Kg_asare🎈