The Man Above The Boy Within

Dogma

I feel trapped,
No need to pretend,
My peace train is derailing,
Together with my sanity and smiles
I didn't ask for help and now I'm lost,
Now I've been living out of spite,
Disappearing and screaming into my diaries,
Every night it feels like I'm standing on cliff,
Waiting to fall off the hill,
Wondering if I can stop myself,
Thinking when to end it all,
How to end it all,
I have dreams of warmth,
I'm tired of this cold.

I'm cuffed to fear,
Nightmares and night scares,
If I didn't know better I'd say I'm haunted,
Because even at daytime I scare with taunts,
A flaw with an anchor,
A disaster with a ballon,
I've become a dark soul,
I'm starting to see it within my head,
All I think about is nightfall,
And a little red door,
One I painted myself,
One I've confined my happy thoughts,
It has no lock so I need no key,
It's transparent to the man above,
He thinks it's a place where nightmares are made,
But that's where the boy within lives.

I need a listener,
And preferably a stenographer as well,
One to hear me speak,
The other to write my thoughts,
One to wager my fears,
The other to sketch my secrets,
Together they'd know the reasons,
Why solitude pulls me to the bottom,
That I am alone in my mind,
Why I yell underwater,
And my embers light me up,
I smolder and ash out,
I've been sinking so long,
I wonder if I can float,
I can see the surface from beneath,
I want to reach the surface.

Kg_asare_🎈