Jojo Crack fics

Caesar x Pancake

Italian gay man loves his pancakes. The way it looks so appetizing with its toppings and syrup. The fluffiness of the morning meal. The way how it taste with the whipped cream, strawberries and maple syrup. Oh how it delights him.

"Ti amo, Pancake-chan. No one can replace you- wellmaybeexceptanotherpancakeafterIeatyoubutthisisaboutyounotanotherpancake- Oh how soft. How the sweetness you make me taste. The way you become so moist when I add the syrup to you, how naughty."

The blonde italian Dio continues to dirty talk the thick crepe  for no reason while Joseph across the table looks disgusted. He was just trying to eat breakfast until his training partner decided to randomly show his erotic love for a certain breakfast item.

"Ahem."

"-my dearest, I wish I could fuc-"

"AHEM AHEM' *Joseph COUGHS VIOLENTLY*

"Damnit idiota what do you want? I was just complimenting my breakfast."

"That's the thing. Don't do that-"

"As if you can tell me what to do."

"And here I thought you the one with table manners."

Pancake scoffs and leaves the brit with his gf (good food) to his room. He sits out on his balcony with his lover. pouring out a glass of maple syrup for them and wine for himself. Am I taking this too far? maybe? But I'm actually starting to enjoy writing this crack ship. He hands the wine glass to them and clinks it with his.

"Cheers! To our- well more of my- love."

The pancake was already cold but he loved it no less. It seemed that the pancaked redden (?). Salad seemed happy that the better than waffle food item responded in a way. They pour their syrup all over their round flat delicious body.

How erotic and kinky

He thought. He watched the syrup as it slowly drips onto the plate. The way it glazed the strawberries and whipped cream made it so much more beautiful. It was technically the second coat of syrup but let's ignore that. The way it glisten in the morning sunshine. It somehow turned how turned him on.

He took his butter knife taking hold of it. He was hungry but something about this pancake, made him not want to eat it. He took the fork in his other hand and shakily tried to touch his pancake. But alas the world was against him today, a pack of sea gulls swarmed his plate taking pancake-chan away from him.

"PANCAKE-CHAN!!!!"

He screamed with four exclamation marks. He was in deep sorrow that his breakfast and lover was taken away from him. He was regretting that he was falling for that certain pancake. He regrets not eating it sooner. He even regrets that he couldn't protect it from the damned birds.

"I'm so sorry, mi amor. I'm sorry that I couldn't protect and eat you."

As he was crying in the balcony Lisa Lisa was also shed a tear, as she saw the tragic fate of his pancake along with Suzie Q, from outside the building. Joseph on the other hand was well... laughing at his mishap. Suzie smacked the back of his head as it was rude to laugh at this loss.

Will Caesar ever love a pancake again? Is he even willing to look at one again? Only time will tell.

Fin.

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Well then... I actually liked this. I'm legit starting to think that I should ship Caesar with a pancake. I absolutely just am shocked 😂. One day, I might just make Caesar and pancake-chan fanart.