Bury My Heart

The Date

"I think we've been stressing a lot so we need to go on a date I really need to all to you about something" he says to me. "Does he know"? I ask myself, I guess we'll see tomorrow night at the date. He doesn't realize my increasing hunger and my stomach growing? Well I have to go to work in an hour I finally told Jade and Lynn about what happened between me and Kyle,they were shocked but I haven't told them about me expecting something in 7 months I was thinking of an abortion last night but I'm risking my life and a sweet little baby's life a deep secret I've always wanted kids I brought it up to Zayn that's when he told me about his little tragic backstory as a child and his mother so I just decided to stay busy so I wouldn't have to think about a baby, but now what. I got ready for work and ate then left.

*At Work*
Kyle comes down to my office and asks "have you made a decision about the job offer yet"? "Um no Kyle" I reply with my head down. Out of nowhere he asks "what's wrong"? "um nothing" I say. He leaves but as he was about to exit the door he turns around and says "um there's a party for the workers here tonight at 6:00 I was thinking you should come with your friends so we can share the good news" "I might come" I say. Maybe this is what I need to relax and calm down a night out with some friends and have some fun but not too much.

*At the house getting ready for the party*
I'm getting dressed in a nice long silky red dress, then Zayn comes in from job hunting. "Hi babe how was it" I say spraying perfume on my neck. "Bad" he says "couldn't find nothing but I got my last check today so I get to take you out somewhere special tomorrow" he says. "Where you going" he says. "The job is having a party tonight I'm going so they can announce my promotion" I say. "You wanna come". "No I'd rather stay here I'm tired" he says. "Ok" I say and kiss him then leave.

*At the party*
Jade and Lynn greet me at the door and say "where'd you get that dress it is cute". "Tiffany's" I say. Then we go into the party. I see a lot of people some I haven't even seen before in my life then I spot Jack looking more handsome than ever in a black and white suit. "Stop" I say in my head. We all go to the bar. "Whisky" Jade says. "Me too" Lynn says. "What do you want"? they both ask me. "Water" I say. "Water"? they say. "What are you pregnant"? As soon as I hear that I run to the bathroom and have to throw up again. Good thing I didn't throw up on the dress as I was leaving Kyle comes up and tries to talk to me. I couldn't take it anymore I had to tell him again or this time it would be more than a kiss "I have a boyfriend"! I blurt out "I can't kiss you or anything anymore"! Then I walk away as far as I can from him to Jade and Lynn they ask me why I ran to the bathroom like that. "I have to talk to you guys" I say and I pull them to a corner where no one was and I told them "I'm pregnant". "What"? they say. "I'm pregnant" I repeat. "Wow really that's good" Lynn says. "Yeah, have you told Zayn"? Jade says."No" I say about to cry. "Why not I mean he is the dad isn't he"? Lynn says. "Yes he is but he doesn't want to have kids"! I blurt out loud. "Oh" they say. "What am I going to do"? I ask feeling a tear coming down my cheek. "Aww don't cry what you need to do is tell Zayn so you two can talk about it". Jade says. "Can't I get an abortion"? I say which makes them change their attitudes all the way around. "No you can't get an abortion"! They say the word as if it was a bad taste in their mouths. "You've been wanting kids since you we're little all you have to do is talk to him it'll be alright". "I guess your right i'll talk to him tomorrow at our date" I say. my makeup is smeared so I go home.

*Getting ready for the date*
I'm in a dress that's short in the front and long in the back it's really shiny with sequins. Zayn is already there so I have a half an hour to finish getting ready. I look at myself in the mirror and touch my stomach and smile. "Everything's okay" I say to myself and the baby whichever gender it is. Then I set out to leave.

*At the date*
"You look beautiful" he says.
"Thank you" I reply.
"So what is it you want to talk about" I say. "um... I know you've been stressing out a lot lately so I think that we should.." But I cut him off and say "before you say anything I have to say something, um I went to the doctor and I figured out that I'm pregnant and I know you don't want kids but I"... "Wait what"? he says,shock and confusion in his face. "You know I don't want kids". "Well I didn't make this baby myself" I say. "I know but"... But I have to tell you"... "Tell me what that your mom gave you up to some girl that doesn't like kids SO WHAT!" I said getting mad. No I have to tell you Jessica's son is mine that's why I didn't want to have kids. "WHAT" I yelled. I was so mad I threw a glass of water at him. "YOU DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE A BABY BY ME BECAUSE SHE HAD YOUR BABY"! The manager came over asking what wrong but I get up and leave this was to much for me I had to leave or I might have killed him.