Unapologetic For My Flaws and All 2nd edition

CHAPTER 11: UNAPOLOGETIC FOR MY FLAWS AND ALL 2ND EDITION

CHAPTER ELEVEN 11

I LOOKED IN THE MIRROR AS MY MOTHER PINNED UP my hair and put on the finishing touch of my make-up. I asked myself, "Breana, are you happy?"

I asked myself again, why are you asking yourself this question on Homecoming night? You just might be the queen. Being queen hasn't crossed my mind. I ran for Ms. Jackson-Miles High because I knew it would make my mother happy. Indeed, it has made her happy and I am happy to see her happy.

A month ago, we went shopping for my dress, and I must say it is beyond beautiful! I look like a princess; well more so, I look like I am a bride in a sweetheart royal blue backless ball gown. I can't help put to think I am going to freeze out there tonight, but I love the dress. It has tiny crystal beads here and there that sparkle.

As my mother looked at me, she was looking serious. She asked me to turn around to make sure everything was in tiptop shape. I am happy and blessed I am sharing this moment with her and my sister.

My mother looked at me in the mirror and asked, "Breana, what's on your mind?"

I looked at the black bobby pins that I was holding in my hand and said, "Mommy, there has been a lot going on. I am overwhelmed because I have a lot on my plate."

She pulled up my purple footstool and asked me to sit down. She gently put her hand under my chin and she slightly pulled my head up. She looked me in the eyes and said, "Breana, you are not in this alone. I know what your professor did was horrifying, but sweetie, you are safe, and justice will be served. You have a courageous team on your side and we are putting up a good fight."

Tears formed in my eyes as I said, "Yes. I know, Mommy."

She continued, "I know you are having unsettled emotions about that boy Brian, but things will get better. I know it is easier said than done, but time heals and sooner than later he will be your past. I also know you get tired of hearing this—but everything happens for a reason. Breana, you have a lot going for yourself. You've worked hard to get where you are today. You have sacrificed a lot of your freedom to enjoy your high school career to get ahead because you want more, and you know exactly what you want. I am so proud of you!

I smiled and said, "I knew I wasn't going to miss out on too much in high school. It's a lot of drama and senseless headaches I careless about. Early College, helped me to realize that life is what you make it, and why waste time knowing I can make it happen now? My goal is to graduate with an Associate degree before I graduate from high school. That way, I will have two years left in college to graduate undergrad. With that being said, I will attend graduate school to earn my Masters. Afterwards, I plan to earn my Ph.D. and start my own business.

My mother gave me a hug and said, "I wish I was like you growing up. You have your head on your shoulders right at an early age."

I was crying and laughing.

She gave a slight laugh and said, "Breana, I am serious. If I'd had a mind like yours when I was young, shoot, I would be just like you — unstoppable."

I put my hands together as my eyes filled with tears. As I looked down at my hands, two teardrops fell on my thumb as I said, "Mommy, it hasn't been easy. People do not understand how hard I've worked. They think I am a goody-two-shoes. I know where I want to be and I know how to get there. I know the road will not be easy, but I am trying to take the right route and bypass the unnecessary heartache and pain, yet it seems that regardless of what route I take I cannot manage to get past the pain that has built up along the way. As for my professor, I know for a fact my voice will be heard. As for Brian, I am dealing with his betrayal the best way I can. You're right, Mommy, sooner or later I am going to get over it. It is taking longer than expected. I managed to cleanse my chakras and meditate to keep myself grounded, but my energy is being pulled in opposite directions because of my feelings for him. I feel myself shifting gears for the better. I'm healing, slowly but surely."