There's cursing in this one so, if you don't like that then you can skip this one. Just wanted to warn anyone who didn't feel comfortable with this.
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Alex: Lee, do you yield?
Burr: ...
Burr: What the fuck do you think?! You shot him in the fucking side of course he yields!
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Alex: Lafayette's a smart man, he'll be fine
*timeskip to when Lafayette dies and meets Alex again*
Lafayette: I WAS IN PRISON, ALEX; WHAT THE HELL ;WHERE DID YOU THINK I WAS THE BAHAMAS?!
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Alex: Laurens I like you a lot
*enter Lams shippers*
Lams shippers: *screech like demons and run around ranting about their ship*
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If you had to choose, if you had to choose, Jefferson or Burr?
Hamburr shippers: Burr!
Jamilton shippers: Jefferson!
Hamburr shippers: Burr!
Jamilton shippers: Jefferson!
*fighting ensues*
Lams shippers: *runs in carrying pepper spray and flamethrowers* John Laurens, bitches!
Hamliza shippers: *watch from a distance, shaking their heads in shame* This kids is why we don't question the fandom
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The reason why Burr shot Hamilton:
Alex: Do you want a burr-ito?
Alex: When's your burr-thday?
Burr: Please stop
Alex: I like blueburr-ies, what about you?
Alex: Burr-ds are pretty cool
Burr: Alex. Please.
Alex: You were born in Feb-burr-ary, right?
Burr: I will shoot you
Alex: If someone kills you would it be burr-der?
Burr: ...
Alex: *smiles evilly* Would you name a cat Aaron Purr
Burr: That's it *takes out gun and shoots Alex*
Alex: *in his final moment* Remem-burr me
Burr: *shoots him again*
Alex: *dies*
Burr: ...
Burr: I just murdered someone
Jefferson: I think you mean burr-dered
Burr: *aims guns at Jefferson* You want to say that again?
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Jefferson: The way he primps and preens and dresses like the pits of fashion
Alex: SAYS THE MAN WEARING THE MAGENTA SUIT
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Jefferson: Our poorest citizens, our farmers, living ration to ration
John: SAYS THE MAN WHO LITERALLY OWNES A SLAVE PLANTATION WHO OWNED MORE THAN 600 HUNDRED SLAVES!!!
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Jefferson: The emperor has no clothes
Peggy: What does that even mean? This is a democracy (for now, I mean we do have Trump as president)
Jefferson: It's a phrase---
Peggy: *interrupts* IS THE EMPEROR GEORGE WASHING MACHINE?! EW WHAT IS GOING THROUGH YOUR BRAIN?!
Jefferson: No, what the fuck---
Alex: *interrupts* And you said I was the one with daddy issues
John: *randomly bursts out of a closet* We're having issues?!
Peggy: ...
Alex: ...
Jefferson: ...
George: *outside the room* Martha owes me ten bucks, I knew John was top
Alex: ...
John: ...
Jefferson: ...
Peggy: and that's the story of how George earned ten dollars, Alex's political career was ruined, John's real death story, and Jefferson being sent to a therapist
Peggy: The end
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When Jefferson is alone:
•He blasts the Rubber ducky song on the highest volume
•He makes a pot of Mac and cheese
•After transferring the Mac and Cheese into a bowl he serenades it like Romeo does to Juliet
•One time Hamilton snuck into his apartment and recorded him kissing the Mac and cheese box
•When Jefferson and James started dating James thought Jefferson loved mac'n'cheese more than him (he was right)
•James does not like mac'n'cheese
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Alex: *after finding the substitute teacher sketch (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dd7FixvoKBw) on youtube*
Alex: *walks up to Burr who is quietly studying*
Alex: YOU DONE MESSED UP A-ARON
Burr: ...
Burr: why
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*When Peggy and Jefferson argue about musical ships*
Peggy: If you don't ship Evan and Connor you live a depressing life
Jefferson: There's no context for the ship
Jefferson: Evan has a crush on Zoe and the only interactions Connor and Evan have during the musical are violent
Peggy: And?
Jefferson: And there's no context
Peggy: What do you ship then
Jefferson: Conman
Peggy: I AM DISGUSTED I AM REVOLTED I DEDICATE MY ENTIRE LIFE TO OUR LORD AND SAVIOR Jesus Christ AND THIS IS THE THANKS I GET?!
Jefferson: It's a good, wholesome ship
Peggy: FUCK THIS SHIT I'M OUT
Peggy: *yeets herself out the window*
*In spongebob narrator voice* 2 hours later
Peggy: *bursts into Alex's dorm*
Peggy: I need you to help me murder Jefferson
Alex: When and where
John: Alex no
Eliza: Peggy no
Alex: Alex yes
Peggy: Peggy yes
*and then they kill Jefferson and become Mrs. Lovett and Sweeney Todd*
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Alex: If I were stuck in a room with Jefferson and Madison and I had two bullets I would shoot myself twice
John: ...
John: Do you need to talk about this with someone?
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Bye. Sorry for all of the cursing
:)
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Random Hamilton Stuff
FanfictionIt's in the title so literally just Hamilton stuff. Incorrect quotes, quotes from shows and stuff, random quotes as Hamilton characters. You really don't need an explanation. Gay. Many ships, maybe some actual oneshots if I get the motivation (so on...
