The dent in our vows

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Dawn's Pov

My blood roared in my ears, my throat burned, my eyes stung, and my heart pounded with pain. I turned my car into Becky's street and pulled up into the driveways just opposite her sprawling apartment complex but I didn't step down just yet.

The rain thrummed on the roof of my car, falling heavily, spitting out big drops of moisture, bleeding for me, torn, washing away every hopeful dream that had died an ugly death tonight. I lowered my head into my trembling hands, trying to get a hold of myself but I couldn't. I sobbed shamelessly, feeling humiliated and violated and used.

How could he?

How could he look me in the eyes and lie to him all this while?

How could he keep a whole part of his life away from me and have me believe I was his first and only love whereas I was just a second choice, a rebound for his major loss.

Did he ever love me?

Did he think of her when he was with me?

Oh, God.

My chest felt tight. He'd given my fragile heart more than it could take and now it squeezed against my ribs so hard that I thought it would burst.

I clutched my chest as more gut-wrenching sobs wracked my body. I'd never felt pain this potent before. It was unfathomable, searing, suffocating.

I couldn't do this.

I pulled out my keys and got down. The rain soaked me to the skin, drenching my hair, and my clothes.

Russo, the security guard at the entrance of the apartment complex rushed over and covered me with his purple umbrella. He'd asked me if I was okay but I simply nodded and headed upstairs to Becky's room.

I needed my best friend, more than ever.

No one else would understand. Paula would've gone all out mama bear on David and my mum, being the peacemaker she was, would've called him over and urged us to talk out our issues.

I didn't want that. I didn't want him. I couldn't stand the sight of him. I didn't want to see him, smell him, or breathe the same air as him. I didn't want him to touch me or talk to me or try to explain things to me.

I wasn't strong enough to hate him but I was sure as hell going to try because he hurt me, he hurt me so bad that the mere thought of him made sickness spread in my gut like cancer.

With my trembling hands, I pressed the buzzer. It rang but no one answered.

"Becky..." I was cold and shivering, my breath shook as I dragged air into my lungs. I pressed the buzzer again. "It's me, Dawn..."

The door opened slowly. "Dawn?" The drowsiness in her eyes faded at the sight of me, instantly replaced with confusion and worry. "Oh my God, you're soaked. Are you okay?"

I shook my head, feeling a new wave of tears prick my eyes. I wasn't okay, I was in pain, I was confused and angry and alone.

"David..." I couldn't find the words to explain what he'd done. "He-he-" An unexpected sob ripped through my throat. I slapped my hand over my mouth and tried to quiet myself.

"Oh, my God." Her arms immediately draped around me and I pressed my face against her shoulders, crying out to my heart's content.