The dent in our vows

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Dawn's Pov

I couldn't remember the last time I  visited a church. It was something I rarely did, twice a year at most. I'd never been a particularly religious sort and the only reason I ever did visit a church was to sing along with the choir because their songs were soothing.

I just never really understood the concept of believing in something you couldn't see and waiting on some kind of miracle. But right now, sitting across from my husband's bed and watching as he lay unnaturally still, skin terribly pale, chest barely moving, I'd never been more desperate for my own miracle.

It'd been two hours and he still wasn't waking up but one said a thing about it. The doctors all ignored us. I didn't know what to think, I didn't know what to do. I was helpless and restless and in pain and I needed someone to save me from it, someone, just anything.

Amanda wanted me to keep a positive mind and I was trying my best to do so but that didn't stop my thoughts from being in rebellious disarray.

What if he didn't make it?

What if the surgery didn't go well?

What if? What if? What if?

No matter how I tried to hate him, I still loved him, I loved him with my entire existence, and losing him like this would break me beyond repair.
I couldn't live in a world where my David didn't exist.

I reached out and touched his forehead. It was cold. His whole body was cold.

Was it supposed to be this way?

My heart wrenched painfully in my chest. I lowered my head and bit my lip hard to hold back my tears.

Why had I left him alone? Why didn't I stay and look for a way out of this? It was my fault. If anything happened to him, I didn't know what I would, I didn't—

"Miss mummy?"

I nearly jerked out of my seat when I heard a whisper of my name.

I looked away from David and saw Alex poking his little banded head into the room.

I sniffed and wiped my face again, trying to regain my voice. "Stella isn't in here, Alex."

He shook his head. "Can I come in please?"

I nodded softly, not certain what to do or say. He pushed the door and walked toward me with both hands behind his back and then when he reached the bed, he pushed out his right hand. There was a huge red apple in it.

"You didn't join us for lunch so I snuck this one out of my food tray for you. Daddy once told me you liked apples."

A warmth like never before spread across my chest, making it hard to breathe. "You didn't have to, Alex."

He shook his head again. "If daddy wakes and sees that you are hungry, he'll be mad."

Even if I didn't have the strength to, I managed a tiny sad smile. He was such a sweet boy. He didn't deserve to see his father this way. I accepted the apple and took a bite. "Thank you, Alex. I needed it."

"What about the baby?" He all of a sudden asked, staring inquisitively at my bump. "Is it for daddy?"

My heart skipped a beat and I was tongue-tied for a moment, just blinking at him. He moved closer, splaying his tiny hands on it. "It's hugggge." His eyes sparkled with amusement. "Is there a mini-me in there?" He leaned in, placing his ear on my belly. "Hello mini-me, are you in there? Can you hear me?"