The dent in our vows

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Dawn's Pov

The moment I parked my car in the driveway near my mother's house and stepped out, my phone signaled an incoming text.

I walked across the street to the patio where the sun didn't scorch my skin so harshly anymore and I could actually see the contents on my phone screen.

It was a text from David.
I got you a nice dress on my way to work. Wear it to dinner with me tonight. His message read.

With a smile on my face, I shot him a quick reply. I can't wait. Where do you have in mind?

It didn't take long before he replied. It's a surprise. Be home early. I want to have a little 'us' time before we leave.

The erotic imagine that popped into my head sent a jolt of shivers running through me. I tried as much as I could to push down the flutters before texting back. I still have hickeys from last time.

Another reply. The more the merrier, my darling. Bye now. I love you.

I chuckled and shook my head. I love you too. Fiend.

It took a moment for the hues of red to disappear from my cheeks. Upon entering the house, Marcus, our family dog attacked me.

"Hey buddy," I cooed, lifting him into my arms. "Missed me?"

As if he'd understood what I asked, he wagged his tail and slid his rough tongue over my face. "Ugggh Marcus!" I laughed, setting him down and stroking his dark fur gently. "I missed you too..."

"Araceli, is that you?"

I looked up just in time to see my mother stepping out of the kitchen with a spatula in her hand.

It felt like ages since we'd last seen each other. She was wearing comfortable slacks and a simple white blouse with a cardigan wrapped around her shoulders. Her long, butterscotch hair with traces of white was pulled back in a tight bun.

"Hi, mum." A big smile stretched on my face as I walked into her open arms and hugged her tight.

"How have you been, my darling?"

"Not too bad," I muttered, basking in her warmth. She smelt like flour and strawberries.

"I'm glad to hear that." She pulled away and tucked the loose tendrils of my hair back behind my ears. "I made your favorite dish; Arepas Rellenas de Queso. Just for you."

"Mum..." I smiled sadly. "You really didn't have to."

"Shush, shush. It's the least I can do for you." She held my shoulders and turned me towards the kitchen entrance and I chuckled as she led me inside.

Give it a few minutes and I was stuffing my face with the mouth-watering goodness while watching my mother work gracefully.

If there was anyone who loved cooking more than me, it was her. Just like others found calmness of mind in yoga and painting, she found comfort in cooking and could do it all day long.

It was more of a lifestyle than a hobby; it was part of her life routine. She'd cook large meals and share them amongst the neighbors, earning her the title chef de camp because she was always so gracious when it came to things like this.

You never could tell if she had a life outside it because she was never away from the kitchen and it most especially came in handy when my father eloped because rather than throwing baseless tantrums or crying over a failed marriage, she just cooked, using it as a source of solace as well as a form of revenue to raise my sister and me.

"What's all this for?" I asked, nodding to the table festooned with fresh pastries.

"Mrs. Alberto's son, Callisto is throwing a surprise baby shower for his wife and Mrs. Alberto gave me the deal-breaker," Mum told me, kneading the dough.

"Oh." My stomach twisted. "That's nice."

She nodded. "It is. After five years of trying they are finally expecting a child."

I managed a smile and continued to stuff my face even though something felt off inside me.

Was it wrong to wish that I could be Castillo's wife right now?

Sure, I loved my current relationship with David and was more than happy to be married to him but I wanted more.

I thought after our last dispute things would return to how they once were. It did, I mean, it'd been four weeks since then and David had shown me nothing but love but I couldn't help but feel something was missing.

My yearning grew into something more akin to an ache. I didn't just want more, I needed more, something the constant sex and show of affection couldn't give. I wanted to carry our child. I wanted to know how it felt to have the evidence of our love growing inside me. I wanted to put an end to this sense of longing that seemed to accompany me wherever I went.

"What's troubling you, Araceli?" My mother's soft voice pulled me out of my strangled thoughts and I realized I had stopped eating.

"Oh, it's nothing mum." I gave her a rueful smile but I knew she saw past my facade.

"I'm your mother and I know when something isn't right." She stopped kneading and walked around the kitchen island to sit on one of the stools beside me. "Talk to me."

I dropped my fork. There was no use lying. "It's just..." I exhaled. "I just... I feel so envious of Castillo and his family."

She smiled softly at me. "And why would that be?"

"Because they're having a child."

"And you'll have yours too, honey."

I chuckled bitterly. "David doesn't seem to want any."

"Did he say that?"

I shook my head. "No but it's been a month since he promised me we would but he still renews my birth control pills every time and I'm confused and sad because he'd rather let me overthink myself to death than give me straight answers. It's disheartening and frustrating and I keep wondering if it's because he doesn't think I'm good enough or maybe he just doesn't love me enough." I let out another exhale. "I'm tired."

"Oh, honey," she leaned forward and enclosed me in a warm hug. "David loves you, don't you ever doubt that." She stroked my hair gently. "Everybody has a reason for doing the things they do and I strongly believe David has his reasons for holding back."

"But I'm tired of waiting. I desperately want to know his reasons mum, because I'm losing it."

"Should Invite him over and talk to him?"

I shook my head. "No, please don't."

She nodded knowingly. "Then talk to him alright, make him understand how much you love him and want to share that love with a child. It's going to be just fine, confía en mí, mi amor. Trust me."

"Thank you so much, mum." I hugged her tight and she soothed my back with gentle strokes.

"It's okay honey, it's going to be okay."