Gold is Rare But Jade is Priceless

Part 6

|Warning: self-harm|

It was certainly a game of cat and mouse as I chased after her. Ever since the smooch she had given me with my consent, I could not help but follow her even more but she was not making it easy.

She was a slippery snake as I tried following her in the hallways but she always managed to escape me as soon as we turned a corner. To make matters worse she stopped sitting in the corner of the elevator. I scouted everywhere around the school for her and yet I barely saw her. It was only during humanities when she would appear but the teacher was such a grouch she left no room for talking and by the end of the day Jade ran out of the classroom faster than the roadrunner.  

There was only one place I had left to catch her as I took the bus down to the cafe after school. She was not on the same bus which made me concerned that she had gotten a ride from someone when I saw her already inside the cafe making coffee. I slid by not bothering to take a seat as I walked down the hallway to use the bathroom. 

Hoping this would work I told one of the staff walking past that the stall was out of toilet paper. I hid inside the bathroom waiting and to my luck, Jade walked in with a bag in hand. Gotcha, I walked out from behind the wall caging her against the stall wall as she stared at me in shock dropping the bags onto the floor. 

We were in quite a position because I was only merely a couple of inches taller than she was and this was not as romantic as I thought it would be like they show in movies.

"No more games" I slid my hands down to my side so she would not seem so afraid of me now.

"Why are you avoiding me? I thought we bonded." Looking at her eyes which were covered by her bangs. I took my hands flipping her bangs upwards as her shimmering gemstone eyes stared up at me. I sensed her uncertainty as she licked her lips and stared down at the ground avoiding my eyes.

"I was just thanking you" she mumbled making my hands drop as I took a step back. 

I always read too much into a situation and that was something my anxiety loved doing. Ever since that smooch, I had created a hundred scenarios in my head of why Jade kissed me. Turns out I overread the situation and now my head is coming up with one hundred ways on how to kill myself for being stupid. I sighed trying to control my breathing as my heart picked up speed making my breathing uneven. I felt my breathing constrict and my throat tighten as panic started to set in. 

I turned around taking quick steps out of the bathroom and ran out of the cafe towards the nearest bus stop. I numbly watched the world go by as my brain tossed and turned with negativity that was going to eat me alive if I did not do something about it. I did not remember getting on a bus but by the time I snapped out of it, I was standing in front of my house with my keys in one hand and my phone in the other. The sky was already getting dark as the whole day had passed by in a flash.

Sometimes time was a weird thing as I got inside locking the front door and slumping my way up to my room. I dropped everything onto the ground pulling out a small metal box. Inside was my prized collection as I admired them. I had not used them in years but I guess I had a reason not to back then.

As if in some kind of trance my fingers went through the motions. I poked the tip of one against my skin to test the sharpness. A small prick was all it took as a small bead of red bloomed across my skin making me crave more. I poked five more times around the circle turning it into a flower until they started to bleed together creating one blob.

My head spun from my heavy breathing and I was out of the dazed trance I had been in. I had gotten the clarity I needed.

This was enough as I pulled the sleeve of my jacket over it letting the red liquid soak into the fabric. I had debated on getting rid of these a year ago but I was glad I kept them as I retracted the blade, tossing it into another container, and placed the other half of the instrument in the box.