Merlin Oneshots!

What Love Can Do

King Arthur's and Guinevere's wedding day was tomorrow. By tomorrow, Merlin would be miles away from Camelot and also the pain that Merlin felt whenever he saw them two together would fall away.

He was in no way jealous of Guinevere. Merlin was more jealous of Arthur, in fact. He had a lover and received love from that person everyday. He was about to marry a woman who loved him out of the goodness of her heart.

Merlin couldn't stand the hugs, the kisses, the looks and the time they shared with each other.

He was heartbroken.

Maybe that's what happens if you love Arthur Pendragon, Merlin thought.

He had packed his bag full to the brim, filled with food and essential items. It would be nice to go back to living in Ealdor, with his mother. She would ask questions though to why he had come back and Merlin felt ashamed to confess it to her. Loving Arthur wasn't the scary thing to say out loud, but the running away from him would make Hunith chatter on about why Arthur needed him.

After minutes of laying on his bed, wondering how on earth he would tell Arthur that he was leaving without breaking his voice, Merlin got dressed and left his room. Gaius was placing breakfast onto the table.

There was also Gaius to break the news to that he was leaving.

"Ah, Merlin, I was beginning to think you'd slept in again-" his mouth snapped shut as he saw Merlin's face. It was pale and the whites in his eyes were dim, leaving behind the joy and brightness they often exuberated.

"Did you sleep at all?" Gaius sighed. Seeing Merlin like this was becoming more common than the cold.

"Of course I-" seeing the look in Gaius' face, Merlin spoke truthfully "No."

"Merlin! You need to get some sleep, otherwise you'll find yourself having the king and our future queen personally throw food at you whilst you're in the stocks."

The idea almost drowned Merlin in a new wave of pain. Standing in the stocks, covered in rotten tomatoes and vegetables, whilst Arthur and Gwen, side by side, laugh at him, would have enough power to snap Merlin in two. If it ever happened, the hurt and the mental scars from the event would drive him crazy.

"Merlin!" Gauis' shout brought him out of his mind.

"Yes?" asked Merlin.

"What's wrong?"

"Huh? Oh I was just thinking."

"About what?"

Merlin drew in a breath, mentally pulling himself as far away from Gaius as he could.
"Leaving."

"Why? Are you sure you are alright?"

"Yeh..."

"Why would you be thinking about leaving?"

One look in Merlin's eyes told him everything. He was in pain. What from, he did not know. Merlin needed a break, it would help him through whatever was going on in the mind of the young warlock.
"Do what you feel is right, Merlin."

_______________________________________

Standing outside of the door that he had pushed open nearly everyday for the past few years of his life, he hesitated for the first time before knocking. Merlin couldn't help but hear the voices coming from inside, even though he was subdued in his own thoughts.

"Arthur, are you okay?" he heard Guinevere ask.

No reply.

"Arthur! Answer me."