A Little Thing Called Death

first day of a new school

A/N: i wrote this on the first day of year 7 at my new school, which was about a year ago now. i wrote it with all my personal details in, like my full name and my school's name, so i took them out. when you see "Y/N", just replace that with your name. this is all actually true, and it all happened to me. all the same, hope you enjoy!

Imagine...

You drive up to the front of the campus, weird bubbly feelings mixing in your stomach. Are they excitement? Fear? Aticipation?

You get out of the car and stand there for a few seconds, not knowing anything about where to go or what to do. Eventually, you gather enough courage to walk into the main building of the school and find your first classroom, frantically checking, double-checking and triple-checking that you have the right room.

A teacher you've never seen before comes up to you and says good morning. You simply reply, "Um, good morning, Sir," because you have no idea who they are. You nervously continue into your homeroom, awkwardly looking around.

Most of the other kids know each other because they've been schooling together for years, so they've got groups and friends and coversation topics - you've got nothing and nobody.

You recieve odd looks from classmates, being the new kid, the weirdo, the misfit. You blink back at them blankly, not showing them that you're terrified beyond speech. You just stand in a corner until a teacher comes in, or makes you all sit down.

When the class settles down, the teacher introduces themselves. "I am Mr *Name-That's-Too-Long-Or-Complicated-To-Remember*. I will be your homeroom teacher."

Most of the class nods and says hello back, but you just sit there awkwardly, wondering how the hell you're going to remember that name. When he writes it on the board, it looks even more complicated.

Then comes roll-call. Many of the students already know the teacher, or know of him, so when it comes to your name, the teacher stumbles and has trouble with the pronunciation. "Um, a, er... Y/N... is there a Y/N in here?"

You might tentatively raise your hand, or quietly say, "Here," but the whole class turns to look at you. You blush and hope to be swallowed by the depths of Hell, but the seconds drag by as the teacher says, "Well, we have a new student. Would you like to introduce yourself?"

And you are forced to get up in front of the class and tell them something you have to think of on the spot. Mumbling, wringing your fingers nervously, quietly answering the teacher's questions about hobbies, previous schools, family. You skillfully avoid a few questions, about your parents and your home life. It's all too personal and fucked up to share.

After a few minutes of stumbling over words and blushing and stammering, the teacher will let you sit down. You gratefully go back to your seat and wish you were invisible.

After struggling through a few classes, a few hours, it's lunchtime. You sit alone, having made no friends yet. All you want is to go home. You were given a sandwich, but you don't have the appetite to stomach food. You might take out your phone and earbuds, and listen to your favourite band on full blast. Maybe it's All Time Low or Fall Out Boy. Maybe it's My Chemical Romance or blink-182, or maybe it's some good old One Direction.

Suddenly, you hear your name being called. You look up and see a group of people walking towards you, lead by a boy you recognise from a few classes you've had throughout the day. He sniggers down at you and snatches your phone from your hand, ripping out the earbud plug and silencing the music. He laughs loudly, showing his group of friends what you were listening to - a song called 'Boulevard of Broken Dreams' by Green Day.

"Ohh, look at little emo Y/N over here! Listening to emo music all alone! What a fucking freak," he laughs obnoxiously, throwing your phone back to you. It lands on the bricks beside you, chipping the screen slightly. You so want to punch his smug little face in, but you decide the be the bigger person and let him go. You just calmly pick up your chipped phone as the guy walks away, his band of brainless Neanderthals following in his wake, sneering and flipping you off as they walk by.

You sigh at their retreating backs and look back over your day. All in all, you refect, it's been pretty shit. You've already decided that you hate this school, the teachers, the students, everything about it. You just sigh again and lean back, wishing time would go faster.

Two more classes to go and then it's the end of the day. You collect your stuff from your locker and walk out onto the road to find your carer's car. Finally, after about twenty minutes of waiting, you spot the car and walk to it. You dump your huge school backpack in the boot and slump into the passenger's seat. "How was the first day of school?" your carer asks excitedly.

You consider telling them everything - the embarassing roll call, the stammering, the hellish classes, the bullying, the cracked phone. You consider telling them that you didn't make any friends and most of the teachers hate you. You even think about mentioning the fact that you've probably earned a solid E- for most subjects already.

But you just lean back in the car seat and look out the window, away from your carer, and mumble, "Uneventful."

~blink-184~