A Little Thing Called Death

you should be sorrier than me but God doesn't work that way.

when he called her, crying,
she could tell something was wrong.
when he said he would miss her,
she wanted to get to him.
when he told her to look after herself,
she promised herself she never would.
when he asked what she was going to do in the future,
she told him, "i don't know."
when he told her about the gun,
she started panicking.
when he started saying goodbye,
she didn't even hear him over her yelling.
when he hung up,
she buried her head in her arms and screamed silently.
when she never heard anything from him again,
she knew he'd done it.
when she missed him more than anyone could possibly imagine,
she couldn't hug him and tell him he's okay.
when she dreamed about him,
she woke up crying and couldn't go back to sleep.
when she had thoughts of doing the same,
she remembered her promise.

~blink-184~