𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐨𝐧𝐞.
outer banks universe.
❀ | S U N S H I N E °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･
─── if she was the sun, he'd stay outside
forever
❝ 𝘚𝘏𝘌 𝘞𝘈𝘚 𝘓𝘐𝘒𝘌 𝘚𝘜𝘕𝘚𝘏𝘐𝘕𝘌, 𝘐 𝘊𝘖𝘜𝘓𝘋𝘕'𝘛
𝘎𝘌𝘛 𝘌𝘕𝘖𝘜𝘎𝘏 ❞
Brooklyn Routledge, twin sister to John B...
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𝟎𝟑𝟏. 𝐦𝐲𝐨𝐰𝐧𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥
club heaven ──── nessa barrett
☀︎ 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐥𝐲𝐧'𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐯
𝖳𝖧𝖤𝖸 𝖲𝖠𝖸 𝖳𝖧𝖤𝖱𝖤'𝖲 𝖥𝖨𝖵𝖤 𝖲𝖳𝖠𝖦𝖤𝖲 𝖮𝖥 𝖦𝖱𝖨𝖤𝖥．
Denial── I have denied it for a whole week now, and I will die on that hill that my brother is not dead. There's just no way. I refuse to believe it. I guess I'm still in the first stage, stuck in my own head, imagining how he's not dead but stranded in the middle of nowhere. Yes, they lost him out there at sea, but there was a storm happening. They just assume he's dead, but I do not. My brother can survive a lot of things, alright, so I believe he has survived this.
Sure, my friends will tell me that he's dead, and that I need to figure out how to process that in my own way, but if he's not dead, I don't need to process anything, do I? Although, I guess I have found a way to "process", if that's what you want to call it.
Drawing. Painting. Sketching.
Art── that's how I've been processing my grief except my grief is a complete overreaction because he is not dead.
He's going to figure out a way to come home, and I'm still going to work on clearing his name while he finds a way to contact us. He's absolutely fine, and I'm sure he's lying low somewhere with Sarah.
Anyway, moving on to the second stage.
Anger── I guess I've been angry, but not in the yelling and breaking shit kind of way. No, I find that I am the silent angry type of person. I let my anger stew until it eventually explodes, and so far, it has not exploded. I know it's bubbling, stirring away deep in my stomach, and I know it will likely erupt, but until then, I'm just going to sit with my frustrations.
Besides, it's easier to draw my anger than let it unleash out of my mouth, so my art lately has just been red and blotchy and large. My art shows the emotions that I am too afraid to let loose.
Now let's move to the third stage.
Bargaining── this is one is a funny stage, I think. Not funny, haha, but funny unbelievable, I guess. When alone with my thoughts, I can sure cook up some unimaginable things. I mean, last night I was picturing John B and Sarah floating on a lilo in the middle of the ocean, and because I was thinking about that, I was also trying to squeeze my eyes shut as tight as possible just to see if I could teleport myself to the middle of the ocean so I could see them. Perhaps I could make some kind of deal with God, but you know, I'm not religious, so I've scratched away that possibility. Besides, he likely has better things to do than to listen to me.
