Jaws of Death

Chapter 12

Father Lantom hobbled into the main altar, ready to close the church for the night. It was already late. The Mayor had hesitantly advised all citizens to finish their duties and be back home by at least, 9.30 PM every night. The spiking crime rate coupled with the ever increasing disappearances had forced the Mayor to proclaim so. And with the swelling number of Atheists in the city, Lantom wouldn't be surprised if criminals held the New York City Church as their prime target.

As expected, the church was deserted. Or at least, at first sight, it seemed to be. Then Lantom's eyes fell on someone. A man at the back, wearing dark glasses and a black T-shirt, holding a cane.

Matthew! Thank God, he's alright.

He hadn't seen him in weeks. Worried, he had sent out people to check on him at his home. But he hadn't answered his front door too. So, Lantom had restricted himself to the only thing he could do. He had prayed for Matt's well-being.

My prayers were answered!

Lantom walked towards him. As soon as he approached, Matt Murdock was smiling.

"Hello, Father. It's been a while!"

Lantom had almost forgotten that Matt could sense him and maybe even hear his heartbeat and asthmatic breathing. He had been so worried about Matt that he had momentarily overlooked the 'gifts' God had bestowed upon this young blind man.

"How are you, Matthew?"

"The answer is pretty complicated, Father. And it keeps getting complicated every minute."

Lantom sat beside him on the pew. "Is that why you're here? My God, you have lost a lot of weight!"

Matt Murdock just smiled. "No, Father. I've not come here for answers. I've come here to confess."

"I'm afraid, now may not be the pro-"

"Please, Father. I may not get another chance."

Lantom looked at the man before him. He looked weak and thin, a shell of his former self. Yet there was a sense of clarity in his voice that made Lantom decide to hear him out. Matt Murdock talked about the past few weeks of his life. He talked about Elektra and Karen. He also confessed about the way he had isolated himself from everyone, the wave of self-hatred that had crushed him and the desire to sleep forever and never wake up.

Lantom laid a hand on his shoulder. "Is that the confession you wanted to make? Your desire to kill yourself. Is that the sin you want to confess for?"

Matt licked his lips. "I do not know what Sin is and isn't anymore, Father. That line of difference has completely blurred out for me in the recent weeks."

"Tell me, Matthew, Do you not see God's hand in this?"

Matt Murdock just sniggered sarcastically. "I can't see God's hand in anything, Father. Even if I did, it's only his hand crushing my life. Everything I desire is pushed far out of my reach. The ones who I care about end up walking out of my life." Matt remembered Peter Parker and Karen. "Then again, there are people out there suffering worse than I am. God hasn't helped them. I see no God's hand in their suffering, let alone in mine. At these moments, pardon me, but The Bible stops making sense to me, Father."

There was a brief pause where Lantom collected his thoughts before speaking.

"Matthew, I've always stressed negatively about your inclination to rely on The Holy book alone for answers. God, as I have come to understand, works in mysterious and complicated ways. His actions and their meanings lie even beyond the vast pages of The Bible. He is so big and profound to be understood by The Holy book alone. So, look around you, God's hand is visible if you desire to find it.

"It is essential you try to understand. As we are speaking right now, a young child in a Syrian Refugee camp is probably living in despondency. She has known nothing except melancholy, pain and anguish ever since her birth. More than any of us, she would gladly welcome death, as if it were her friend, with open hands.

Yet, she lives on. There is a faint glimmer of hope that keeps her pushing through suffering. A hope that one day she could play with other children, live a life and maybe marry the man she loves. You search for God in the suffering alone. Search for Him in her hope! That hope, as minuscule as it could be, is where God lives, Matthew."

Matt scoffed. "Forgive me Father, but given the state I am in, that sounds like a load of waffle."

Lantom took a deep breath. "Matthew, sometimes, God works through the Devil himself!"