Nemesis ~ {PJMxR}

27: The start of something scary

I stare at the wall. I stare at the ceiling. I stare at the wall opposite my bed. I even get up and stare out the window and watch the night sky. No matter what I do, I know I'll get no sleep. I watch the midnight breeze stir the leaves of a tree in my neighbors garden.   I turn back to bed and watch YouTube on my phone, it's not easy to forget, basically impossible. If I do forget it's only for a second and then that ill feeling returns to my stomach, a sure sign of stress. Out of the two things that plague my mind, Jimin kissing me again is the one that, surprisingly enough, disturbs me less. What mortifies me most is how I reacted to him. At first my mind was horrified, at first I was going to pull away. At first. But then he drew me out. It was an unbearably good kiss. I'm brought back to the first time he kissed me and how good it had felt then too. I had begun to believe that I was remembering wrong, that the kiss didn't feel good, that I was too surprised to remember it correctly but now I'd experienced his kiss a second time and there was no denying it... he was even better than the first time. My stomach lurches a little as I remember the feeling of him in detail.
SHUT UP.
I slap my head and plunge face-first into my pillow, once again trying to suffocate myself.
Maybe, by my standards he's a good kisser. If I were to kiss Cheol, it would probably be a million times better.
Probably.
Hopefully.
I hadn't even realised that I'd fallen asleep but when my eyes open next, there's milky light filtering through a crack in my curtains. I don't know what to do with myself so I just lie there.

"Damn it, Jimin!" I say in frustration. "Why do you have to keep doing this?"

I wander aimlessly downstairs.

"Woah!" I say when I find a familiar figure sitting on the couch.

"Heya," my older sister says.
Ji-ae is home and much earlier than I had expected. She chuckles a little at my gaping face then stands up with her arms open wide.

"Don't just stand there," she chuckles. "Gimme a hug, I haven't seen you in months."
Ji-ae is nearly a head taller than me so I fit in her embrace snuggly. Her hug is tight and reassuring as it always has been. She smells of refreshing fruit scent. I sigh a little feeling relieved that she's here now. I almost tear up a little.

"I missed you, Ji-ae," I say shakily as we draw apart.

"Hey," she says softly, rubbing my back in a comforting manner. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah." My voice quivers weakly, making me cringe inwardly. "I'm just tired and stressed."

She tuts sympathetically and grabs my cheeks, smooshing them between her palms.

"Sto-op," I groan.
She pats me on the head before walking past me and into the kitchen. I sit down on the couch with a depressed huff. I spend hours on my phone, watching short videos, looking at memes, doing anything to make me laugh a little.

"Oh good," Ji-ae says as she and mum walk into the lounge together. "I haven't seen the Parks in so long, I'm glad they're coming."
Uh oh, the Parks are coming for dinner again. The Parks mean Jimin and Jimin means pain for me. Can I really survive another run in with Jimin? It wasn't too long ago that I would have been able to predict a conversation or interaction with Jimin. We would have argued, maybe wrestled, and then acted childish for the rest of the day. Now, I'm unable to predict him at all. Sometimes he's nice enough to bear, other times he's just like usual, but then there's this new side of him; the foreign horny teenage boy that acts out at random times. How am I supposed to understand him? He's far too unpredictable. Maybe I should just hide up in my room to avoid him. But this is a family dinner for Ji-ae's return. Also known as a dinner I cannot sit out. It also happens to be a dinner Jimin probably won't be able to wiggle out of either. So even if he did feel awkward about what happened and decides to avoid me he will be forced to come.